Feed the Beast

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A/N: This Saturday is my birthday and I plan on being drunk most of the weekend, thus making me pretty hungover on Monday, I am posting this now since my weekend will start tomorrow. Enjoy the early chapter and If I recover I will probably post another next week :) Now down to business....This chapter was strange to write, Joker is having to come to terms with his constant changing emotions about his wife. He's really trying to find that middle ground. Let's see how it plays out.

~I want to hurt you,

I don't deserve you,

Unlace your body,

I want total control~

~Motionless in White~

Today was the day, things were ready. Joker had broken Bruce down to his most basic self. Helpless, hopeless, just like the rest of Gotham. Joker had been working hard to get all things lined up properly, and finally, it was time.

It took a lot to get Joker going, the same way he did before. His apathy for most people had grown over these last few years. It seemed, that dealing with Bruce brought back that rush he used to get. Knowing that today was the big day, the day they would put all of this behind them, had his body on edge.

He had hours to go before they would be able to do anything and he needed to relax. Peach was dropping the little Jellybean off at the sitters, and would be back soon. His fingertips were tingling in anticipation. He really, really needed to relax.

He decided to fall back on his old cure for the electric currents that shot through his limbs. He dug for the wooden box that he kept in his nightstand. He found it easily and sat on the bed rolling a joint. This was the only medicine he trusted. Grown from the earth not synthesized in a lab.

He put the box back into the drawer and stepped out onto the balcony. Peach had thoughtfully started to keep a chair out here for when he needed time. He set down on the chair, thankful of the over hang of the roof keeping the small space in shadow.

The sun was bright, keeping the day warm. He sat there, looking around. He could almost laugh at the position he found himself. When had this happened? He could remember back when he first started his quest to awaken Gotham. To bring chaos to the uptight city.

Now he was holed up in this posh house, full of shit he didn't want or need. He had gotten these things for her. Most of what he did now a days was for her. Some days he wondered if he should just leave, just vanish again. But know he had his Jellybean. She was fun, she kept things interesting. He couldn't leave her, ever, she was part of him.

He lit the joint, taking a long drag of it into his lungs. The burn feeling good, bringing him closer to relaxation. He let the smoke out and leaned back in the chair. He took another. The burn lessening after each hit. He felt his muscles relax, his mind had quieted after a while. The joint was half gone when Peach stepped through the door.

He hadn't seen her car pull in. He hadn't heard her. He was getting soft, too comfortable here. The entire thing screamed for him to leave. Her soft voice stopped the thoughts in their tracks.

"Kayla's good until morning, what's the plan?"

He motioned for her to sit on his lap. He watched as she sat and pulled the other half of the joint out of his hand. She smoked and he watched her. His mind wandered to the thoughts he had been having before. She was too important for him to leave. He was being foolish.

She had a hold of him like no one else. He had killed for her, would die for her. The thought made his stomach feel weird. He pushed that mess aside.

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