Laugh Lines

Tick... Tock...

~One of these days the ground will drop out from beneath your feet

One of these days your heart will stop and play its final beat

One of these days the clocks will stop and time won't mean a thing

One of these days their bombs will drop and silence everything~

~Foo Fighters~

It was June 2nd, and Joker was ready to start the city's revolution. The day would busy and he was wide awake. His people were ready and it would all happen around 3:30. Just before the midday traffic would start up. He looked at his watch, he had a few hours to kill.

He had gotten a solid four and a half hours of sleep after getting a text from his contact at the GCPD. They had finally arrested Bruce. Even with the crying baby, he fell well rested. He had decided to move the bassinet into their room. Peach was exhausted from getting up to go to the nursery every few hours.

She and the kid slept better in the same room. At some point in the night, Peach had just moved the baby into the bed, laying it between them. He was lying on the bed looking at the two sleeping bodies. Peach was looking a bit frazzled, and it had only been one full day. Maybe he would get her a nanny.

He was getting ahead of himself. Today was the day to worry about Gotham. He had work to do today. He got out of the bed and moved into the large bathroom. He took a quick shower and was drying himself off. The burner phone had been silent, that was good. No messages meant no issues. Things were going as planned.

He was standing in the bathroom, in his infamous purple pants, the suspenders he wore down at the sides. He would put his shirt and jackets on last, after he painted his face. He was rummaging through the drawer to get his war paint ready. The shrill cry of the baby made its way through the closed door.

He turned to listen to see if his wife was getting up. The crying continued. He frowned and moved back into the bedroom. Peach was on her side, facing the red faced, screaming baby. She hadn't moved, the sound of her snores drowned out by the crying.

Joker moved to the bed and lifted the baby. The crying softened, replaced by whimpers. He walked to the nursery, moving straight to the changing table. Luckily it was just wet. He changed the diaper and re-wrapped the squirming bundle.

He went back to the bedroom and stood there at the side of the bed. It was time for the baby to eat, but Peach really needed to sleep. He slid softly onto the bed and laid the bundled baby by his wife. He reached for the camisole she always slept in and gently pulled the top down. Once freed, he moved the baby up to Peach's breast and watched as it latched on like a pro. He grabbed his pillow and laid it behind the baby to help her stay in the right position to eat.

Parenting was easy so far. It was like having a pet. He moved back into the bathroom and applied his face for the day. He was proud of himself. He had easily solved the baby and Peach's problem. Once his face was painted just right, He wiped his hands as clean as they could get before going back into the bedroom. The baby was still eating and Peach was still asleep. Perfect.

He left the room to go into his office. Peach hadn't messed with anything in here. He was surprised, she tended to do whatever she wanted, regardless of his wants. But the room was untouched. He sat at the desk and pulled out his cell phone and called Ace.

"Morning Boss."

"Everything good at the Funhouse?"

"Going as planned."