Laugh Lines

Countdown to Madness

A/N: As much as I would love to make this a 90 chapter monstrosity of a fanfiction, I haven't the time, so... a bit of a fast forward...

~What doesn't kill you

Makes you ugly

Life gives you lemons

At least it gave you something~

~AJR~

When Joker had agreed that Peach would come and work for/with him, he had thought that being so close to her would be a bad idea. He had been pleasantly surprised how much his wife had actually helped him. She had really only been a fun distraction at first. When the stress of the day got to be too much, they would sneak off and have a quickie all over the fun house.

By February, she had started to help get the men and the few women he was now employing into their new lives and identities. She was very organized and he was impressed, though not surprised, by how well she could boss them around. He liked watching her square up with the men. She doled out punishments like a champ.

While getting this newest adventure moving, he had his men pulling a few robberies and a bit of arson. Had to keep his name in the papers to help recruiting. Plus, it kept the guys from getting too antsy. The police were woefully inadequate to keep his guys in check.

Joker hadn't heard anything from Bruce Wayne or the bat. He tried to push thoughts of his failure to bring the bat back to Gotham into the back of his mind. He was moving on to bigger and better things. He refused to be bothered by it anymore.

By March, Joker was getting excited. So many things were starting to happen. He had nearly 100 people out and about in the city on his payroll. They were infiltrating all aspects of the city. Some were baristas some were working construction. Hell he even had a substitute teacher and vet tech. They were acclimating well, and checking in often. He had to keep them working for his cause, not just deciding to deflect and actually become one of the mindless masses.

The weather was dreary and wet, but slightly warmer. He could feel himself getting antsy, having had to pull back the urges to just start it all now. Not everything was ready yet, just a bit more time, a few last details to work out, supplies to get. It was so close he could taste the triumph on his tongue.

By April, the most exciting thing happening was there had still been no sightings of the Batman or Bruce Wayne. Joker was worried at first, but this saved him a bit of work. He didn't really want to get rid of Batman, but if Bruce tried to stop him... It would end badly.

Not that he had to worry, it seemed Bruce Wayne had become reclusive. He had stopped going to charity events, stopped everything. They had printed a big story in the paper about Bruce taking a complete step back from all his financial holdings. Basically, he had retired. No one had seen him in person in months. Joker assumed he had finally broken him. The thought was bittersweet.

By end of May, the most hilarious thing was happening. Peach was visibly pregnant. She had a slight waddle to her step. Joker couldn't help but watch her as she moved around. The days he would go home with her, he would rub her feet and lower back. He made sure she never seen him chuckling at her.

She had 5 weeks left until her due date. Joker had gotten tired of hearing her complain about the long drive from the house, so he just had her stay with him in the penthouse. Once the kid came they could go back home. Peach had decorated the nursery months ago. Joker would take the extra time out of his day to go out and feed the dogs.

Spending a few hours there in the quiet was always nice. He would still drive back to his apartment and slide into bed with Peach. It was strange now sleeping next to her. He would either spoon her, ending up with a mouthful of hair and a hand usually tucked into her bra. Or, he would startle awake when the not so tiny jelly bean would kick him in the back.