Laugh Lines

Lawyers, Doctors, and Detectives. Oh My!

~I'm not like them

But I can pretend

The sun is gone

But I have a light

The day is done

But I'm having fun

I think I'm dumb

Or maybe just happy~

~Nirvana~

Bruce was laughing on the inside. The charges his lawyer said they were accusing him of were a joke. They wouldn't be able to get any of them to hold up once they knew Lyra's secret. He sat in the room as his lawyer looked over everything and the room seemed deathly silent. Finally she leaned back from the table. The papers in front of her, and looked at him.

"Bruce, I need to ask, is any of this true?"

He scoffed, "It's not what you think." He rubbed his eyes, the lack of sleep from the night before getting to him now. "I was rescuing the girl from a madman."

"Bruce, what are you talking about?"

"The girl, Lyra, she is married to the Joker. He has forced her to stay with him through fear and brainwashing."

"That still would not legally give you the right to grab her. If it was true, you should have gone to the police. Besides, we all saw the Joker last year announce his wife, and she was helping him poison those people. She didn't look afraid."

"No this is personal, The Joker has gone too far and I have to stop him."

She shook her head, "Listen to me, you are in big trouble here. I will share with the police that you believe she is the Joker's wife but that doesn't save you from the consequences from this mess."

"Thank you." He put his hands on his face, "We have to save her."

He was aware of the fact that his lawyer hated him. The look on her face was hard. He looked away. It would all be worth it, if he saved her and that baby.

Joker called Red, eager to get everything going.

"Boss?"

"Checking in, do you know what you are doing?"

"I have the papers Cliff gave me. That's it."

"Good, you, my good man, are temporarily a man named Jack Napier."

"What kind of name is Jack Napier?" Red asked.

Joker ignored the question. "You are married to a woman named Lyra."

"Who is Lyra?"

"My wife." Joker said through gritted teeth. "You need to stop interrupting me with the questions. You can ask all you want, after."

The silence on the other end was telling. "I need you to play happy hubby. It should only be for a few days, a week at most. The police will probably stop by to chat. You were the only one I trust, that had a fairly clean background."

"Okay."

"She can catch you up completely, but the gist of it is, Bruce had her. She escaped and filed charges. You will be her husband, who as fate would have it, looks nothing like me."

"I'm a decoy?"

"You got it." He paused. "I need you to pick her up today 2:00pm from Gotham General, room 523. Take her back to my apartment and relax until I tell you different."