Izuku The Crime Boss (OLD VERSION)

THE PROBLEM

Cait was sitting on the floor panicking because the money she hid a few days ago had already been stolen.

Cait: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Izuku: Cait stop!

Cait: FUUUUUUCK. It was right there! The money was literally right there!

Izuku: Cait just calm the fuck down! We'll find the money!

Cait: Don't you see? We have one month! And do you see the money anywhere?

Izuku: I don't, but you could.

Cait: My quirk... YES! We have a chance!

Her hand began to glow orange and suddenly a figure appeared where the money once was. The figure was wearing a brown mask covering his face and had a brown cape. It wore a yellow shirt and yellow pants but exposed his arms. Izuku recognised the figure immediately. It was a pro hero.

Izuku: mega clay....

Cait: huh?

The clone of mega clay was reenacting what had occurred two days before the money's disappearance.

Mega clay clone: well well, what do we have here? That tip off was really something. Seeing as no one's here and I make shit money, might aswell take it!

Cait: someone saw me... Shit. Also, who the hell is mega clay?

Izuku: he's a pro hero with the ability to turn his arms into clay and it's surprisingly effective whenever he fights.

Cait: wait. So, someone saw me bring the cash in the building and they gave a tip off to a pro hero. Which in this case, is Mega Clay. And he took the money for himself?

Izuku: where's he going now?

The two follow the clone outside and watch him drive a car to its destination.

Cait: he's going somewhere! Come on!

They follow him for an hour and eventually they are leaded to a Diner and Cait starts to look worried because she remembers that her quirk has drawbacks.

Cait: shit. We're at the end of the line for now. Come on, I'm hungry.

Izuku: hold on, what? What do you mean the end of the line. What happened to your quirk?

Cait: Basically, my quirk has a drawback where I can only use it for an hour and I can't use it again unless I get more leads of where he is.

Izuku: so what, are we gonna ask a waitress if he's seen him?

Cait: Exactly. Plus I'm fucking starving and I'm craving pancakes.

Cait and Izuku walk inside and ask for a booth. They sit down and before they ask questions, they decide to eat.

Cait: I'll have the blueberry pancakes.

Izuku: And I'll have eggs and bacon please.

2 minutes later

Cait: it's about time. I'm starving.

Izuku: yeah. Do you want some of my bacon?

Cait: nah I don't eat pork.

Izuku: what, are you Jewish or something?

Cait: I ain't Jewish I just don't like swine is all.

Izuku: why not?

Cait: it's cuz pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Izuku: yeah but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.

Cait: A sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie but I would never eat the fucking thing. Pigs are unclean and they eat their own shit. I ain't eating nothing that will choose to eat its own shit.

Izuku: what about dogs? They eat there own shit.

Cait: I wouldn't eat a dog either.

Izuku: no, do you consider them to be a filthy animal?

Cait: I wouldn't go so far to call a dog filthy. They're definitely dirty. But a dog's got personality and that can go a long way.

Izuku: Do you're telling me that if a pig had a good enough personality he would cease to be a filthy animal?

Cait: well we would have to be talking about one charming motherfucking pig!

Izuku:(laughs) yeah... So what do I ask the waitress?

Cait: forget the waitress, just ask the manager.

Izuku: okay.

Izuku walks up to the manager with an intimidating face as if he was going to ask a question.

Izuku: Did a hero come through about an hour ago?

Manager: I have no idea what you're talking about sir.

Izuku: don't lie to me bitch. I know mega clay came through here.

Manager: s-sir I don't know what you're t-talking about.

Izuku: I will fucking shoot you in the penis.

Manager: shit! Okay okay calm down!
I'll tell you where he is! I was supposed to meet him later on. He's my weed dealer!

Izuku: wow. This so called "hero" sells drugs. Tell me where he is.

Manager: okay! His house is number twelve on nanborrow street!

Izuku: Cait! He lives on nanborrow street.

Cait: I know where that is. Let's go. But before we do, can we wear suits when we kill him?

Izuku: what?

Cait: yeah I literally got suits in the car we can wear to be a bit more threatning!

Izuku: you really like looking threatning.

Cait and Izuku jump into the car and set sail to nanborrow street. Cait seems excited knowing she gets to shoot the bastard that stole their cash.

Izuku: I can not wait to get this drug dealing asshole.

TO BE CONTINUED