Cait and Izuku pulled up to to the drive way of a guy Cait was friends with.
As soon as Jimmy opens the door Izuku rushes in to find the nearest bathroom to wash himself.
Cait: hey Jimmy! Long time no see and whatever the fuck. We need to put our car here four a few hours. Is that okay?
Jimmy: hold on what's going on? What the hell happened to your car?
Cait: cool thanks. Be right back.
She paces to the bathroom where she can hear Izuku muttering to himself whilst washing his hands and his brain covered hair. Izuku runs his hands in the warm water and then proceeds to use soap and washes once again and then dries them with a towel that is next to him.
Cait joins in and wets her hands, which still have blood on them, and then wipes them on the same towel as Izuku.
Izuku: The fuck you doing?!
Cait: I was drying my hands!
Izuku: you're supposed to wash them first!
Cait: I did! You saw me do it!
Izuku: I saw you get them wet.
Cait: I was washing 'em! This shit's hard to get off!
Izuku: You just covered this nice little towel with blood! It looks like a fucking maxi pad! You know, it's things like this that will get us caught!
Jimmy: guys what the fuck you doing in there?
Cait: nothing! We'll be out in a sec!
Could you make us some coffee?
Jimmy: fine I will.
The two walk into the kitchen and wait for the coffee to made.
1 minute later
Jimmy: coffee's done.
Cait: (drinks coffee) mmm! Goddam Jimmy! This is some serious gourmet shit! Me and Izuku would've been fine with some regular coffee but you had to bring out the gourmet shit!
Izuku: yeah what flavour is this?
Jimmy: do you really need to know?
Cait: what?
Jimmy: look I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is okay? I'm the one who buys it, I know how good it is. When my wife goes out she buys shit!
I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanna taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now?
It ain't the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead guy in my garage.
Cait: hold on Jimmy wait a minute-
Jimmy: no I'm not gonna wait for anything. Let me ask you a question, when you pulled into my drive way did you see a sign outside of my house that said "dead people storage"?
Cait: Jimmy just-
Jimmy: did you or did you not see a sign outside of my house that said "dead people storage"!?
Cait: no I did not...
Jimmy: do you know why it ain't there? Cuz storing dead people ain't my fucking business that's why!!
Cait: Jimmy just let me-
Jimmy: no no no no no no you listen to me! My wife comes home in an hour and a half! And when she comes strolling in and finds a dead guy in the house I'm gonna get fucking divorced! No marriage counseling or having some time apart I'm gonna get fucking divorced!
I wanna help you help you guys but I don't wanna lose my wife doing it! I'm nothing without her, I love her!
Cait: look, I'll make some phone calls to someone else I know cuz you ain't much help.
Jimmy: fuck you Cait and your little broccoli headed friend!
YOU ARE READING
Izuku The Crime Boss (OLD VERSION)
Ação(PLEASE READ) This is the old version of this story. Read if you want to but I recommend reading the newer version. This is very cringey and poorly written too.
