The Yellow Petal Mysteries

Chapter 2: Angry Musings

Nicholas walked home taking in the empty restaurants on one side of the pavement and the traffic filled road on the other. What a glorious feeling it was to be heading home before everyone else. The people walking passed him on the streets looked slightly disturbed by his grinch like smile. One little old lady, frantically searching through her purse, almost ran right into him. He coolly dodged her without even blinking. The woman looked up from her purse and back at Nicholas, "Sir, excuse me, sir," she called.
The smile was slowly erased from his face as he sighed. He wanted to be free of people for a moment, "Yes, did you need some help?"
"Are you Detective Lampoon?" The woman asked, pulling a piece of paper from her purse.
"Not detective," he replied, "just Nicholas Lampoon."
The woman blinked slowly, "I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure what you mean."
This was exactly why he did not want to deal with people anymore. They were always getting lost or being confused. "I was a detective however I am not anymore. Whatever case you wanted me to look at please take it up with Detective John Wilson. Good day ma'am." Nicholas turned and walked away hoping she would not follow him.
"Detective Lampoon," the lady called, "excuse me, detective. They won't listen to my case."
Nicholas continued walking and muttered, "not a detective, not a detective." The woman seemed to be following him but he figured that if he ignored her long enough she would go away.
He was right. About halfway to his house she gave up and went into a cafe. Nicholas could now enjoy his freedom in peace. The rest of the world's workers were away at their jobs toiling, though many were sitting in comfortable desk chairs, to earn their money and pay for their lives. Not Nicholas Lampoon. No, he had made a decision. A decision to free himself of the stress of a desk job and working in the city. He had decided to choose a more relaxing way of life. A calming, peaceful, and boring way to spend his many years ahead of him. His sister had found him a better job.
"Poor Penny," he thought as he remembered how hard she had searched for a job. "She should have known before becoming a botanist, following your dreams only turns your life into a nightmare."
Nicholas was well aware of how horribly pessimistic he sounded but he was the only one listening to himself so there was no one to really criticize his rainy thoughts.
"Thank goodness she's finally found something to do outside of the science realm. It banished her too long ago for her to be let her back in now."
Penny Lampoon had taken the time and money to become a brilliant botanist yet no one would hire a botanist with severe pollen allergies. Her sneezes could alter the experiments, they would tell her. So she never got the job she wanted. Instead, she worked with the other dreamers in the fast food restaurants around town. However, she had recently contacted her beloved brother and informed him that she was opening a tea shop and wanted his mathematic skills, or so Nicholas assumed since people skills was not an option, to help her run it. Nicholas could have cared less why she wanted him to work in her tea house. All he wanted was a good reason to quit and she gave him an offer he simply could not refuse. Nicholas had found, through very scientific experiments, that family is the greatest excuse in a job situation no matter the size of the predicament or strict the boss.
That is where Nicholas was headed after eating a quick snack of cheese and crackers and changing into something more suited for retirement. He had a bounciness in his step that hippity hopped him through the streets back to his little town house on Castle Street. The squirrel door knocker that hung in the middle of the door sat crooked as usual. He straightened it, unlocked the door, and turned the doorknob with all his might to get it open. The usual pop sounded and the green door opened slowly, creaking a welcome to its owner.
"Yes, yes I know it's early," he whispered to the door as if it could hear him.
Nicholas stepped inside and took a deep breath. The smell of glass cleaner snuck into his nostrils. Ms. Appleberry, his cleaning lady, was washing the windows like she did every Monday morning. He closed the door quietly so as not to disturb the broom on the verge of falling just outside the kitchen.
"Ms. Appleberry," he screamed as loud as he could.
A scream echoed back to him from the back bedroom and then a cough. "Do you know how badly you scared me," the poor girl yelled as she emerged from her cave like an ogre with a bottle of glass cleaning spray in place of a mace and a dirty rag instead of a threatening growl.
She pointed the spray at Nicholas. He put his hands up, "Don't shoot, it's just me." He said strolling into the kitchen calmly, "I want to remind you that the laundry hamper is almost full and it's a glorious day."
"Yes I am aware of the laundry hamper but I'm afraid of why you're so happy," she replied following him into the kitchen.
He generally was not one to be so happy but leaving a quick moving, desk job to go work a boring, managing job in a tea house would put anyone in a strangely good mood.
"You did not go straight to your office," Ms. Appleberry observed, "does that mean you finally did it?" She asked putting the spray and towel down on the counter beside his box of things and the fedora that leaned against it.
"Yes Ms. Appleberry, I finally did it. I got fired by choice," he replied almost stabbing his poor maid with the cheese knife as he spun around with a skip in his step.
"Well," Ms. Appleberry said dodging him carefully, "I don't know that I've ever seen you spin before."
"It is a good day to spin Ms. Appleberry. That is something you can learn from today: spinning ought to be reserved for the moments that make you truly happy."
"You know what would make me spin with happiness?" she asked approaching him slowly.
"No clue," he said, returning to his cheese and crackers.
"If you would clean up after yourself," Ms. Appleberry exclaimed picking up the cheese scraps from off the counter and furiously throwing them into the trash can.
Nicholas glanced at his mess of things on the counter and mumbled an apology. Ms. Appleberry sighed and returned to her cleaning supplies. She got the broom that sat against the wall and swept the hall as Nicholas finished his snack.
"The taximan should be here soon," he said placing his dirty dish in the sink without thinking, "and I shouldn't be back until after you've left. Before you leave, please polish my name plate."
Ms. Appleberry nodded and eyed him as he left the room. She swept new dust into her pile with such ferocity the bristles on the broom cracked in defiance.
"That man," she mumbled, "I do everything for him. I clean, I cook, I do his laundry and what do I get? Not so much as a-" Nicholas opened his bedroom door. She swept harder and hummed naturally.
He threw his dress pants out the door, "For washing," he called closing the door quickly.
Ms. Appleberry picked up the pants and muttered angrily. "-a thank you from that man. I'll get your pants," she snatched them up and shook them mercilessly, "I'll do your wash," she walked to the laundry room and slammed them down into the full hamper, "yes I'll do your nasty, filthy wash." She slammed the door angrily and jumped. She clapped her hand over her mouth and placed the broom on the floor in front of her.
Nicholas' door cracked open, "Was that the taximan?" he called.
"No, he's not here yet. I just-um-just dropped my broom is all," Ms. Appleberry said snatching it up angrily.
Nicholas closed his door again on his maid, "You hear a slam," she flung a chair out of her way and swept so hard the broom squeaked as it slid across the floor, "and you think it's the taximan? A 'Ms. Appleberry, are you okay?'" she mimicked his long face and his deep voice, "would be nice," the chair was flung back into place. "But no, no, no I get accused of being the taximan."
The maid continued to fling things out of her way and throw them back in place as she mumbled her complaints. She was solely in her head and heard nothing else. Even when the taxi man knocked on the door for the third time she did not hear it.
Nicholas walked calmly out of his room and hummed a happy tune as he trudged through his maid's pile of dirt and dust bunnies, "Ms. Appleberry, I think you missed some." he said looking down at the scattered pile in front of the window.
Ms. Appleberry had almost had enough. "I missed some did I?" she said clutching the poor, abused broom tightly.
Nicholas backtracked to the window again without paying any attention to his maid, "Is that the taxi man?" he asked slipping on one of his shoes.
Ms. Appleberry's eyes grew large. She dropped her broom and ran to the window, "Oh dear," she said, glancing to see if he looked upset, "I'm so sorry Mr. Lampoon. I was so lost in my---my musings I didn't hear it."
He scrambled to get his other shoe on, "I understand important musings," he ran into his room and grabbed his coat, "Don't worry, it just makes life a little more fun," he called from his room.
Ms. Appleberry watched him, "I'll make sure to sweep well today," she said, returning to her broom.
"No need, it looks quite done besides the pile I spread around," he said as he pulled his coat back on.
"It still looks dirty to me," she said with a chuckle.
"Yes, well don't forget not to slam doors, the walls don't like it, keep hold of your broom, poor thing has been so abused, and whatever you fling in anger put back, the chairs prefer not to be disturbed. Farewell Ms. Appleberry, enjoy your cleaning," he said, taking no notice of his hat that still sat in the kitchen.
"Nicholas you left your hat on the table," Ms. Appleberry called shaking her head and smiling, "I don't know how he does it," she said to the broom.
"Right," he said backtracking to the kitchen.
He returned with his hat in hand and coat half on, "Off to the tea house," he said placing the fedora on his head.
He tipped his hat to Ms. Appleberry and ran back out the door to the taxi that awaited him.