𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 | 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙗𝙮 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙠

four

I didn't get much sleep last night. It's hard to sleep when you keep picturing your boyfriend with another girl. I heard my phone going off non stop throughout the night which didn't help. I didn't even want to look at my phone. I'm scared to see if more people found out and it was all over instagram and twitter. I'm scared to see the texts from Colby or any of my friends. Instead of looking at my phone I get up and decide to make breakfast for myself. While making eggs for myself my phone starts ringing. Colby. I can not talk to him right now. I can not do this to myself. I ignore it. And of course, he calls again. This time I answer.

"Colby what do you want"

"Maddi listen to me. We need to talk, somewhere, anywhere, but right now. Please."

I sighed. How could I say no to him.

"Come over then"

Colby hung up. I sat my phone down on the counter trying to contain my emotions. I don't want to cry but I don't think I can keep it in. I held back my tears as I hear a knock on the door. Fuck. I turned off my stove and but my eggs on the my plate then opened the door. As expected, Colby was standing there. Looking as beautiful as he always does.

"Maddi. I am so sorry"

"Colby, I love you so much. but I don't think I can be with you after what happened. You cheated on me, more than once. And only god knows if you have done it more than just last night. I mean we've been together for almost a year and this is what you do. how? how could you possibly do this?"

"Maddi please believe me, it was a mistake. I was drunk, and I know thats not an excuse but I know it was stupid and I shouldn't have done it. I love you Maddi, I wanna be with you. Forever"

I stared at Colby about to cry. I can't hold it in anymore. Tears ran down my face thinking about all the times Colby told me he loved me and held me at night. I thought about all the late nights we had talking about our dreams and goals. All the nights we spent on the couch talking for hours about the stupidest things. All gone. I couldn't look at him anymore.

"Colby, I love you too. But I can't be with someone who does this. I can't be with you because now every time I look at you, it doesn't feel like its you. Every time I look at you, I see you with her."

It was silent.

"Do you remember the night you told me you loved me? The night I told you my past and why I get scared to love people."

"Of course I remember Maddi"

"That night I told you that I have been hurt so many times that it's hard to love because I get scared. I apologized to you in advance if I ever push you away. l told you that I was scared to love you because I didn't want to hurt you"

Silence. I looked down at my feet.

"Why Colby. After I told you all my fears about you leaving me and how I was hurt in the past and was scared. Why did you still continue to do to me what I was so afraid of"

I finally brought my head back up and looked at Colby. I looked him in the eyes as tears ran down my face. Colby was crying too. I could tell he was sorry. Colby isn't the type of person to do this to someone and not regret it. He has a big heart, sometimes he just lets go of himself.

"I don't even know what to say. I don't have an excuse or a reason for any of this. I am just so fucking sorry."

"I know colbs"

He smiled a little, he loved when I called him that.

"I just think I need time. I need time to process this and think about what I want."

I paused.

"I think for now we should break up"

Colby put his head down and began to cry a little more. As did I. I lifted his head up with my hand and kissed him softly. He smiled a little and pulled me into a hug.

"Im so sorry Maddi. I love you forever"

I walked Colby to the door.

"I love you too Colby, I just need some time."

I closed the door. More and More tears ran down my face. I threw my eggs in the trash. I have no appetite anymore. As I walk to my room I replay all of Colby's i love you's in my head. Making me cry even more until I eventually cry myself to sleep.

(its been a long ass time but I think im gonna start writing more again cause I kinda miss this. anywayssss leave any suggestions you have for the next chapter and dont forget to vote:)) )