Lost Everything

Part 5

AN: Warning and Disclaimer:

This story popped in my head one day, and I couldn't get it out, All characters belong to SM I'm just playing with the plot.

There may be triggers of abuse for some; please take care when reading.

The rating is for a reason; please take into consideration: language and Lemons.

BPOV

I sat on the bathroom floor, just listening to my Caius' recollection of my time with Carlisle and Esme. He had been right when he told the others that I had seen them as family, I knew I had become broken, but I don't know if I could heal, I knew he would try, everyone would, but I knew something they didn't. I wasn't worth it. But I would let them think that they were helping, I couldn't be that disappointment that I saw on his face, I didn't want to prove them right, that I was nothing but a Volturi pet whore, and a mistake.

Did my dad think that too? Either of them? Did my friends think this about me? After all, they hated vampires, and yet I was one now. Are they all just humouring me? They must be. I'm sure that I can hear them laughing. Did my dad think I was just a pet whore for my Mate and his family? Was Caius my Mate? After all, my Mate could choose to leave me if he wished to? Am I just a charity case? Is that why they are staying around me? Is there anything special about me that could keep him with me?

I couldn't take it; I'm not strong enough, maybe I was a mistake. My family would all be so much better off without me. I looked around as I knew that Caius kept lighter fluid in the bathroom to fill the lighters that he preferred to use. Finding it, I opened it pouring it over my head. Letting the drips fall down my body. After pouring it all over my skin and clothes making sure that the bottle was empty I started looking for a lighter, I found one in the medicine cabinet where Caius kept his cigarette packets, as I was about to ignite it. The bathroom door opened, and there stood my dad and Tanya. As she was closer to me, she attempted to grab the lighter from my hand as she sighed when I would not let go.

"Oh baby, nothing is worth this. Turn the shower on Emmett." Tanya told me as she started to strip me of my lighter fluid soaked clothes. She told my dad to go and inform Caius of what was going on. I had to stop him.

"No, please, no. Daddy, please don't." I cried out as I tried to grab his arm to stop him, he took a deep breath before kissed my forehead and walked out, closing the door. Even my dad didn't want me. I looked over at Tanya, heartbroken.

"He's just going to get your Mate, he's trying to help you, baby, your dad loves you, no-one has left you, he doesn't want to see you hurting, and darling, you are hurting. Nothing is worth this. You have so many people there for you, that love you, that need you. Now let go of the lighter baby. Give me the lighter; I want to help you." Tanya said to me. I didn't want to let it go, but she got it out of my hand. I couldn't do anything right.

She finished getting me out of the clothes I was wearing and get me in the shower, getting in with me, washing the fluid off of me, and cleaning it out of my hair.

"Talk to me baby, what made you decide to do this?" she asked. If I told her she would laugh, telling me I was right.

"Why would you think I would laugh? Yes, I can hear you, so you don't even have to talk out loud if you don't want to. Will that make it easier for you?" she asked me.

'I'm nothing but a Volturi pet whore, why wouldn't you laugh? Caius can leave me anytime he wants to; Mates aren't permanent; they are just temporary. I have nothing that could keep him. Nothing that would want to make him stay. I'm nobody. I'm a disgusting disappointment. He looked at me like I was, Jacob smiled at the fact I was being tortured.'