Relateable

can I cope?

(I know it's not a fitting title. If anyone has a better idea I would be really grateful for that)

I always assumed that the saying;

less mistakes yield less struggles for the others

was existing for real

and there I'm not completely wrong

that, I know

but I try to be strong

and seem like nothing's wrong

yet every day I fight a battle with my thoughts

and scroll through the internet to find a way to cope

Well, it seems helpless my thought never rest

Trying to stop the war in my chest

(Preventing me to breathe properly)

Every second this hopeless thoughts are consuming me

I hate myself for the way I feel

The cuts on my arm never stop to bleed

And so does the desire that I need, but I know It'll never become real

Feeling lonely and close to tears

every second that I breathe

Locked in, in my room with razor blades in my hands whom

are covered in blood

while my wrist is once again slit open in wounds

and read my story how I manage to get through the day

though I hope it soon will end

When I'm so exhausted

All I want to do is just to throw me against a wall and that may express my anger

That I've bottled up all this years with the hurt and pain created

But I can't help me, for I need someone to understand, to pull me up for me to land

I want to cry but I can't try

To risk for me to fall apart

What if I never get up

And decide to end my life anyway for everyone else to shine

But so you know, I won't give up

Never