2020
A fist connects with the hard wall
But the anger that's bottled up cannot get away
The scream is killing inside and can't get out
Sadness in the eyes, the desperate need to vent
To scream out into the world all the things that caused you sadness and hurt
The face begins to feels wet
You hate it, the helplessness
Society thinks you have to smile everyday never show weakness and be perfect
But look inside into their soul and you see the broken
The ones who think they can't be fixed
There are so many mistakes we made
But no one who says, it's okay
So you work yourself up about this thing
Satisfaction a long way away
The urge is unbearable
Why can't I just do it and everything would be okay?
It wouldn't.
It'll just make things worse
No one wants that, no one needs it
Needs me...
Ah, stop this intrusive thoughts. It's not real, let me be
I want to stay clean. I was clean for so long
For one month and 17 days.
What would it feel like to never have to do it again
It would be a feeling of freedom
But can I trust myself to never do it again?
I can only have hope
I'm in a room of people but I feel alone, as if no one ever would understand me
"chuckles" it's somewhat ironically.
I was by the doctor one day to take blood
As she asked me if I had a Problem with blood, I nearly chuckled.
But I didn't, she shouldn't know that it's the complete opposite
Even though it's saddening.
YOU ARE READING
Relateable
AcakShin ae: This is me writing about my thoughts I'm struggling with in my life. Poems, rambling. and nowadays reminders that are useful for me but I hope also for you. - adult me Warning: It (could) contain(s) Self harm, Anxiety, Stage fright, Eatin...
