I Rant

Rant 6: Why I hate the Dentist

I hate going to the dentist. There I said it. I know I am not alone in my hatred for having small sharp objects stuck in my mouth, however I would like to share what caused my hatred for the dentist.
It started when I was around ten or so years old. By then I had most of my adult teeth, and as such cavities were more serious. And boy did I get cavities a lot. It seemed every time I went to the dentist I left with an appointment to get something fixed. My brother on the other hand was always perfect. Never had a cavity he needed filled in his life perfect. My mother obviously thought that the reason why was because I wasn't brushing right. Thus began the crusade of constantly checking if my tooth brush had been used and the yelling if it wasn't.
Now it sounds like I didn't like brushing my teeth, but it was actually quite the opposite. I really enjoyed doing it, but what I didn't like was that even if I brushed three times a day I was accused of lying about it by my dentist. He would tell my mother that I wasn't brushing at all. So I just stopped caring as much. I figured my teeth were just rotten to begin with. My oral health slipped.
I should mention now that I have had two dentists in my life. The first one (who accused me of lying) will be callled Dog Breath (You can figure that one out), and the second one will be called Asshat (You will know why don't worry)
When I was about 11 I went to see Dog Breath with my family for a check up. My brother had a clean bill of health and surprisingly I did too, or at least I thought I did. Dog Breath came into the waiting room and told my mother that I needed both of my back teeth filled (the ones just in front of your wisdom teeth). Since I was a child I couldn't really say anything so my mother agreed to the procedure for me. I came back later on and Dog Breath started the procedure, except he didn't give me a needle. Yup you read that right, no needle, no numbing, while he drilled into my adult teeth. All I had was this along that tasted nasty and number the surface of my gums. When he started to drill the pain was unbearable and I screamed. Instead of stopping he and his assistant told me to raise my hand if it hurt. So I did and I was ignored. I kept flinching every time he tried to put the filling in because he had exposed my nerve. I just remember lying still and making my mind go somewhere else to stop the pain. Once he was done I was told to close my mouth. It hurt when my teeth touched, and something didn't feel right in my back teeth. It felt like there was something stuck in them. I tried to explain but I was shushed and then too afraid to ask again. I mentioned it to my mother but she waved me off, I didn't tell her that I hadn't gotten numbed right. This had been my first procedure with my adult teeth and I didn't know that you weren't supposed to feel anything. We kept going to Dog Breath for a few years and he kept drilling and filling my teeth without the use of needles.
I was 15 when I finally received my first needle.
My family had found out that Dog Breath had been over charging us for years so he could skim the extra. Then I had a filling fall out. That used to be a common experience decades ago, but back in 2012 it was weird. So my mother brought me to the new dentist who had been recommended by a family friend. Enter Asshat.
He looked at my missing filling and what he said will haunt me forever; "This is all wrong."  He then began to look at all my other fillings and he just kept repeating "Wrong" after testing each one, as he went from tooth to tooth I could feel him getting angrier. Then he got to my back teeth and he asked me why I had gotten cosmetic dentistry done. I explained that my old dentist had done it and said I needed it. Asshat then went on to explain that I hadn't needed anything done to them, and that since Dog Breath had done them so badly my teeth had begun to decay. Asshat assured me it wasn't my fault as there was no way to clean under the bad work. I left angry and returned later to get them fixed.
He has fixed the broken filling during the visit and I didn't feel a thing since he never had to touch my actual tooth.
When I returned to get the back two fixed I was full of dread. Remembering how much it hurt to get them done in the first place. I sat down in the chair and the Asshat pulled out a large needle. I must have looked afraid because he rather harshly told me that I had seen one before. I then told him that I had never gotten a needle; I was 15. He didn't believe at first but then I explained the bitter sponges. Shaking his head he then explained how the needle worked and I was to let him know if I felt anything after the first one. As we waited for the numbing to happen he looked over my x-rays and commented on how each one of my fillings should have had a needle and that he couldn't imagine how much it had hurt. Then he started drilling. About a quarter of the way through he stopped and asked me what my pain level was. I was honest and said that it hurt a bit but that I was fine (remember I had no numbing before in my life), he stopped immediately and numbed me more.
I thought I had found the best dentist ever at that point. And he was and still is an amazing dentist he's just a shit person. He yells at his staff, berates his clients for their teeth (which as you can imagine is horrid for me) amongst other things.
I have refused to see him for years because of a remark he made about me moving in with my then boyfriend (I was 18 at the time). He started preaching abstinence to me and even went so far as to ask me if I was "saving [myself] for marriage" because that's what the Lord wants and I shouldn't dissapont Him. Now I am not religious, more spiritual, and I have nothing against religious people. However, I draw the line at people using religion to ask the status of my virginity, and using that status to determine my worth. He is a dentist, not an OB/GYN, and I felt horrified that he had asked such a question. I told my mother immediately, and since she didn't like my ex she waved it away (and still does).
And that's why he is called Asshat in this story.

So what about now?
Now my teeth are shit again. My wisdom teeth didn't come in right and are causing me problems, infections, and small amounts of pain. I have also realized that my dental health is the first thing I let go of when I am depressed and I suffer from that a fair amount. I will be great for a month or two but then my mental health slides and my mouth gets worse.
Right now I am beginning to look for a new dentist, but since I have literally no money (hella debt, living that poor life woop whoop) and dentists tend to ask for that it's been slow going. My plan is to interview them before letting them see my mouth. I want to know how long they have been working, where they studied, their pricing, general client base (is it more families or more cosmetic) and if they use needles and/or numbing. I also want to explain to them a bit of my story so that they can understand why I don't like the dentist and hopefully be mindful of that and not be too harsh on my for the state of my teeth, they've been through a lot.

So if any of you know a dentist who fits this description and has a practice in either Montreal or the Laurentians then please hit me up with that contact info.

Thanks for listening to another rant!

(I know there's like only two or three people who read this and I want to tell you that I appreciate you very much and if you want me to rant about a certain topic just let me know)