Infatuated

xiii

Ness gulped as he looked into the fitting room's mirror. This was really happening, huh?
Ever since he told his mom he actually planned on going to prom this year. She freaked out and insisted they really must get his tux now while they can, because every shop would be sold out. Begrudgingly, he came along with her to the mall, because she wouldn't quit if he didn't.

"Come out, dear! I want to see!"
Ness let out a dramatic sigh as he stepped out of the stall.
"My little man," His mom said, clasping her hands together. He rolled his eyes, tugging at the cuffs uncomfortably. He wondered if Lucas had gone through the same process yet, or if he even knew to get a suit.
"It's kinda... I dunno, stuffy?"
"Well, yes, but it looks amazing on you. You have to wear something other than those baggy clothes for once."

He couldn't get too mad at his mom. She accepted the fight to be a simple quarrel that got out of hand, making an offhand comment that "They should raise that boy better." He was glad she didn't try to find out if those insults were true, either.
"Well, do you like it?"
Ness scoffed.
"Of course it's going to be uncomfortable, but do you like the way it looks?"
Ness shrugged. "I guess."
"Well don't say 'you guess', you have to make an impression on that lucky girl!"

Guilt welled up in Ness's stomach. He was never even planning to tell her he was taking a boy.
"I think this is impressive enough, mom."
She smiled at him, making the guilt well up even more.
"I just want this to be good, is all."
Ness sighed. "I know."

They walked to the car, silence filling the air. He plopped himself down in the passenger seat, exhaustion filling his muscles. He hated formality, he hated malls, and he hated hiding things.

"You've been awfully quiet this whole ride. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You're never this quiet."
"Can you leave me alone? I'm fine. Please."
His mom paused as she started the car, "Are you nervous about prom?"
Ness crossed his arms. Why'd she always have to be so damn persistent?
"It's not that. I could care less about making a good impression on my date. It's," He tried to think how to word it ambiguously, "It's a different type of impression I'm going to make."
She quirked an eyebrow as she pulled out of the parking lot, "What do you mean?"

Ness growled. Of course, more questions!
"Some people... May not like who I go with."
"Why's that?"
"It's... They may not approve."
"It doesn't matter who you go with as long as you enjoy your time with them."
"I do, it's just--"
"Is it Paula? Is that why you're afraid?"
Ness shook his head, "No! If I went with her people wouldn't care, but she goes to a different school anyways, remember?"
"Then why are you worrying so much?" Her face scrunched, "Is someone spreading rumors?"
Ness let out a weak laugh. "I guess you could say that, yeah."
"What kind of rumors? Do I need to go to the school?"
"No, no! Please don't. It's fine."
"It's not fine if it's causing you this much stress. Please tell me what's wrong, dear."

Now he was just angry. He hated keeping secrets, but he hated being pestered about them even more. It wasn't fair that he risked getting kicked out, losing his spot on the team, and ruining things for Lucas as well. All for who he was dating? He couldn't tell. He couldn't.
"It's nothing! Please, mom!"
"I don't get it, it's not like you to hide things from me. Can't you see why I'm worried?"
Ness contemplated what he said for only a few short seconds before he burst.
"I'm taking a boy, mom!"
She froze and took her foot off of the petal for a second before zoning back into driving.

"O...Oh."
"That's why I couldn't tell you! Do you think I just hit Porky for no apparent reason?"
"I mean, I thought you just didn't like being called names..."
"I can take that! He's called me names all of my life and I'm used to it! But he started bringing Lucas into it and -- and maybe I didn't wanna accept what he said was true,"
"Lucas," His mom interjected. "Is that who you're taking?"
"I... It is. And if you're mad at me just please don't tell anyone, especially dad, or his dad," He slunk down in his seat, hiding as much as he could.

Silence.

"I'm not mad at you."
He hesitated before replying. "You aren't?"
"I'm just sad that you felt you couldn't tell me, why were you so scared?"
"I thought you would kick me out, or tell your friends, and then tell Lucas's dad, and we both would've gotten in trouble or something. I'm scared you'd accuse me of being diseased or dirty or just..."
"Honey, I know you're not any of those things. I love you regardless."
And then the tears started flowing.

"I'm proud of you. To be honest, I don't know how I couldn't tell; when I think about it you two were really close,"
He laughed through his tears, sniffing.
"You know your father would support you too. He always has. But tell him on your own time."
"To be honest, I wasn't even thinking of telling anyone,"
He took a shuddered breath in through the tears. "I was just hoping I could go pick him up and leave."
His mom let out a sigh, unsure of what to say.

"I feel so bad now," Ness nervously laughed again. "You obviously would have wanted to know,"
"I understand. You don't have to feel guilty."
"I just--"
"That's enough. You're fine. I should be the one apologizing."

Ness looked at her questioningly.

"I shouldn't have stuck my nose in your business."
"You would've found out one way or another."

"So you're really... going with him, then?"
"I mean I, I guess so."
"Just," She paused before continuing and wondered if this was even appropriate to say.
"Be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you guys."
"I know," He squirmed.

Awkward silence filled the air as his mother pulled into the driveway, but he would rather have this, have this rather than talk about a confusing part of him. A part of him he repressed for years. A part of him he hated coming to terms with.

But for Lucas? He'd question everything.