Proxy

Journal Entry 18

I stayed true to my word on the sleeping part. Madison has grown agitated with me, with my refusal for her help. But I don't need her help, I don't need anyone but him. My guardian angel.. my love. I only need him. He'll guide me to the right choice. He'll help me see the truth about the world. After all, he is the one who got me to stop drinking. 

Snow has begun to fall, covering the forest floor with what looks like a soft blanket of white. It was so cold on my bare feet, but I walked anyways. He was calling me. I had to follow, to listen. I think I saw him this time. Last time I didn't, it was just a deer, but I have hope for my recent speculations. I wish I could feel him against my skin. I long to know what his touch is like. 

I found a bottle of pills in the forest, and I took them home with me. They were long and cylindrical white pills. There was a note in the bottle, a note for me. It says "take when it gets bad." I don't know why I would need them. When would it get bad? What's going to get bad? I don't know... I don't know. 

Madison is at the door now, banging on it to try and get me to let her in. To come out and stop hiding. "You have nothing to worry about!" She yells at me. I need to get her to shut up. I need... I need to get rid of her.. Madison needs to go.