Mate To A Whisper

Pain

Not really too much to say excpet I love the support you guys have given me so far and to keep it up!!!!!

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      The next day I dragged my butt outside to wait for Trent. Yesterday I did some of my homework, but at two in the morning it became obvious I couldn’t do it, I was too focused on how I had affected Kaila to care about anything else. I went to sleep with the horrible sounds of my mourning wolf echoing throughout my skull, his howls of agony telling me what I already knew. She was gone. I had pushed her away because I had almost killed her and then by telling her to leave and now I was empty inside, without any will to do even normal things like eat or practice football. Even though I was sad, I was also mad, to the point of breaking.

       How could I be so blind? I’ve always been reminding myself that being around people would cause incidences like that, where I could have killed them. She just made me completely forget all of my precautionaries and relax, that was both a curse and cure. It was the first time since my brother died that I was truly at ease, and for that I would be forever thankful, but being at ease was also my downfall. I had let my guard down, and now my control had come back with avengance, tearing me apart inside. Not only that but the guilt of it all, of letting her go, of pushing her away, of putting her in danger from the one that was supposed to protect her.

     I mean think about it, I was supposed to keep her alive! Not kill her! And here I was, hurting her emotionally from all that I had done, it was horribly pitiful.

       “Hey man! Whoa, dude, what happened to you? Look like you got cancer or something.” Trent said from the front seat of his car, and I suppose he was right, I mean I didn’t look my best. The dark bags under my eyes were acompanied by my dragging feet and slouched back. I just didn’t have the strength, the will to go on now that I found my mate and lost her in a day. I didn’t bother replying either, there was no drive left in me.

      I got in the car and threw my bags in the back, looking blankly ahead. She’s gone, the love of my life, gone. What am I supposed to do now? This feeling of emptiness, of sadness beyond belief. I won’t be able to live like this forever, it’ll kill me inside. But that’s what happens, when a mate is gone it drives the other one to the edge, and there hasn’t been one person that’s made it through losing a mate, they all end up killing themselves just to ease the pain.

     On the ride there Trent had got the message and was keeping to himself, I was thankful for that, I didn’t have the energy to bother interacting with anyone. I was too busy thinking about what was gonna happen at school. She was going to be there, everywhere, next to me in all my classes. What am I going to do? Her scent, her presence, her eyes... Before I knew it we were at school. Oh well, guess it’s time to face the music... let’s just hope I can make it through the day. Once I stepped out I was met with a wall of high heels and make-up covered faces.

       “Hey Luke, what were you up to last night?”

       “I was thinking about you last night.”

     “You look good in that shirt, did you get a haircut? It looks really good.” I wasn’t really paying attention, my wolf was instantly looking for our mate amongst the crowd of students. Her scent hit my nose and I whipped my head to find her whispering to her group of friends. She looked... confused? Sad? Frusterated? I couldn’t tell from a distance, but I was smart enough to know whatever she was feeling, I caused it. It wasn’t smiles or laughes or giggles, instead it was sadness, and that alone was enough to shatter me inside.

     Without hesitation I turned and nearly ran inside the school, trying despretely to escape her. I couldn’t take it, knowing what I had done to her. I think Trent tried to follow me, but I had run outside and was now sprinting off school campus, into the woods where I shifted, letting all my emotions drive my actions as I tore through the forest, trying so hard to leave everything behind me. I leaped on top of a rock that jutted out of the ground and crained my head back, letting out all my emotions.