Buttered Toast

we're all messed up

     "Good morning, sleepyhead. Rise and shine, I made breakfast." A familiar voice roused me from my sleep.

     "Mom? Oh... it's just you. Butter. What a strange name. I hate butter. Hold up..." I recalled what happened before I passed out. "Oh, you bitch. What did you do with my acid? That stuff cost me like 6 thousand dollars!" I glared at him. He shrugged.

     "Here, have some crappy oatmeal. Eat it slowly though, or you might puke. It looks like you took a lot of LSD. I just have some questions for you while you eat."

     I muttered 'cunt' under my breath and started eating. He breathed in deeply.

     "Look. Do you remember your school's name? I mean if you went to school. Or do you remember your last name, your mom's or dad's names, or your siblings' names? Do you remember where you lived, or... who you even are?"

     I must have looked scared because he went to reassure me. "Ok. I read about this. It's called ego death, basically, it's the complete loss of subjective self-identity. It should go away in a day." His expression softened. "I care about you."

     "Why? I mean, you just met me. I'm a messed up druggie with no future. What do you see in me?" I ask.

     "I...I don't know. I have never felt the need to take care of anyone. Also, you're kind of cute. And to answer your previous question, I threw all of your acid in a stream. Sorry."

     "You know how long it took me to save up enough money to buy all of that? Nine years. I can't believe you threw it all out. How old are you, anyways?"

     "I'm 24. And I did it for your own good," he replied. "You got any food? I'm starving. That was the last of mine."

     I took my bag from underneath my head and dug through it. "No. Fuck. We are going to starve."

     "Ah, its fine. I took botany in college. I'm sure I can find some berries or something." He grinned. "Or we could eat like, your leg or something. Although there won't be much aside from skin and bones." He laughed.

     "Oh, Butter. You're a riot." I muttered sarcastically. "But seriously, we won't be alive for much longer if we don't find fresh water and food. How far are we into the forest?"

     He scrunched up his eyebrows in concentration. "I think we're around a two day walk from any roads. Probably will take us three days, with stops and you being so weak right now. I think we should start gathering some stuff. Yeah, if we're gonna go back, that is. We should leave in three days. Meanwhile...we should get to know each other."

     "Yeah. Sure. So what's your deal?" I sighed.

     He laid down beside me. "As I've said, I ran away from a mental hospital. Ever since I have been young, doctors have been giving me different diagnoses, like giving a kid candy. No one knew what to do with me. My step dad hasn't ever cared about me, so when I was twenty and started to experience severe bi-polar disorder, he sent me away. I was so naive. I hoped that the doctors would give me some magic pill to make it all go away."

     He cleared his throat. "I was wrong. The hospital to which I was admitted to is shit. They don't care about their patients, prescribe dangerous drugs that change people entirely, and there is no communication at all. That's when I realized that all of us like me where just a waste of space to them. We're sent away, hoping we won't bother the rest of the population. We are the ugly blemishes on humanity's face. So, I decided to make it easier for them. I was going to run away and kill myself. But...now that I have met you, I feel like there's actually something or someone worth living for." He smiled at me playfully. "Which is why...I'm going to do this."

     He leaned over and kissed me. I was shocked at first, wondering who in their right mind would actually be attracted to me. But then I gave in, and we collided in a supernova of stars and passion.