My Beloved

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Emperor Tsukihito's pov:

I sighed. I was bombarded with questions about why I kicked out one of my own concubines. I had 4 concubines excluding my empress. I tried to reason with them that it's because she threatened my ruling but that didn't work.

I never really liked former concubine Yume she was just for connection and strength. I didn't know what to do.

I was thinking about my son. Tsukihiko is still too little to wander outside the palace walls. And to be cared for by another family or other people is just unheard of. I sighed. I just hope I'll decide for my family and this government's well being.

I was reading petitions when I heard a scream. I was so surprised when I saw my empress barge in.

"Your Majesty... What is this cruel joke I'm hearing?"
I was dumbfounded. What?
"What are you talking about Hoshiko?" I asked.

"I heard you're sending my son outside to be raised by other people." She cried.
"My empress... I haven't even decided on that."

"Then why am I hearing these things instead of my son's re installation?" She asked.
"I'll have to think about that alright? And I promise you that no one can ever take away any of our children." I promised and hugged her.

To lighten up the mood we decided to go out that evening. I was so busy that I didn't even recognize that that day is our anniversary. The day that she finally gave her love to me.

"Tsukihito... When I'm gone will you still love me?" She asked when we were stargazing. I had her in my arm.

"Of course. I promised you that didn't I? Even though I had so many concubines it will always be you and our son. If Tsukihiko just didn't get so sickly then I will never need of any other woman." I whispered into her ears.

It had been a few hours since we came here. We first went to the Town square and had our fill at the diner we used to eat at. We went to a library which sold some of her favorites and I brought her here. Our favorite spot.

"I love it here you know... This is where I confessed how much I love you." I told her and held her hand.
"Me too. And it's something that I will take to my grave."

We shared a sweet kiss under the moon. I loved the moon more than I'll ever love the sun. Sure it brings brightness, warmth and symbolizes new hope. But the moon brings a different light in a dark night.

If I would describe my wife, she is the moon in my dark nights. She is always there whenever I needed her. She is a friend, confidant and a lover.

The next day I was busy with another load of paperwork when Tsukihiko came to my office.
"Son... What're you doing here? You're supposed to be resting in your room." I said holding my son and making him sit on my lap.

"I just want to know and see up close what your job is father. You're doing a great job." He smiled at me.

"Thank you my little one. Of course, you can see me working." I said as I continued my work. I thought that it was great to have my son here when I'm working so I can teach him a thing or two about all of these.

Tsukihiko was a very talented kid. And I loved his antics ever since he learned how to talk and walk.

"Tsukihiko remember that I'll always love you and your mother alright? No matter what happens or whatever I might do... I always want your safety and well-being." I told him and kissed his temple.

"Yes father. And I love you and mother so much." He said and cuddled me.
I smiled sadly. I had plans on what to do with him.

2 more years passed, my advisors are already worried about my throne. Who would inherit it after my death? The second prince wasn't all that well too. He was also sickly. But his illnesses were far too little and mild compared to his brother's.

I did not want to take in another concubine. I only wanted Hoshiko to be with me. We tried for another child but it wasn't successful. The child died and she just went crazier as the day passed. My son is the only one that could be my successor.

"The curse on the prince is coming true. He's the cause of all these." One of my advisors said and I was fuming mad.
"That curse is nonsense! A prince as gifted as my son wouldn't cause so much misfortune. We must think logically." I told them calmly.

"The crown prince is the future emperor wether you like it or not. That is my decision." I declared and ended the discussion. I was worried about my son.

A few months into that year I said goodbye to my other son Prince Tsukito who died of a terrible illness similar to my first born. And I was devastated. But I needed to be strong for my family.

I was at the office that time when a slave walked in. She was terrified.

"Your Majesty... The empress 's chamber is on fire! We tried to put out the fire but it went raging too fast." She reported. Without any hesitation I ran to her chambers which was indeed on fire.

I didn't see my wife. I tried to get in her chambers but the others stopped me.
"Your Majesty... You can't go in. The fire is too high and too big to get into." One of the helpers said and I was devastated much much more when I got news that the empress is nowhere to be seen.

Her burnt body was one of the bodies that was taken out of her chambers. I noticed the flower hair ornament that I gifted her on our anniversary. I cried a lot and hugged the pin close to me.

Fortunately one of the survivors was my son. Prince Tsukihiko. Princess Tsukihime was also safe and  came out of the chambers. Unfortunately they were visiting their mother when the fire came up.

I felt empty. But for my children I needed to stay strong. I started drinking so much. Anything that would numb the pain.

And in those days I pick on my son. Reports said that prince Tsukihiko was there when the fire broke out from the lamp that he bumped on.

Hoshiko was with my children and tried to put out the fire. But nothing worked. So I started to think that he was the one who killed his own mother.

I hit my son every time I had the chance. And I pass out. I forget to do my work, everything seems to be worthless to me.

That night I was drinking again when Tsukihiko came in my room. He was crying.

"Father... All of your advisors were picking on me. They said I was the one who killed my mother. But that's not true! They don't listen to me!" He cried.

"It's your fault. If only you weren't there... She would be alive." I took a figurine from my table and threw it on him. He didn't even try to avoid it. On impact, it hit him on the head, the figurine broke and there was a big scrape on his forehead.

"If it was my fault... Then I'm sorry father. I'm sorry that... I killed mother. I didn't mean to. It was an accident." He cried and cried. I became sober that moment. I made him cry.

I was quiet. He just cried there.
I wanted to comfort him and be the same father that I was years ago. But all of those was gone now. The same me.

"Stop your whining and leave me be. I don't have use for such a son like you. I'd rather have a dog than you." He ran outside and I just cried alone. Maybe if I was there nothing would've happened that day.

END OF MY BELOVED...

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