spirit night

2 Ryan

I was standing outside a curtained room when I felt it. If I had lived in California, I would have said it wasan earthquake, but this was Florida. Last I looked, our weather was clear and we had no hurricanes in theforecast. So, like the rest of the staff, I went on alert because we all knew the world had changed in thelast few years. Homegrown terrorism was becoming commonplace and mass shootings were aheartbreaking reality.

 "Need all available help outside, quick," a nurse called.

 "Multi-car accident onRollins, serious injuries''.

 I tried to erase my mind of the memories, the ones that still haunted me when Iheard the words car accident . It didn't matter how many people were wheeled through those doors of theER, when I heard them, my heart raced for the briefest of moments

. "Dr. Montgomery, are you ready?"

 Iturned to face Polly as she held out a wad of latex gloves and several boxes of gauze. I rolled my neckside to side as if I were an athlete warming up, ready to compete, the adrenaline flowing full force. WithPolly by my side, I raced out the side door and into the bright morning sun. It was chaos—an ambulancewas overturned, several cars were on the sidewalk, and a blue Mercedes was practically split in half.That's when I saw the deputy, a woman, a pretty female, the first woman I'd truly noticed since my wifehad died. I had no clue what it was about her, but I had a hard time taking my eyes off her. And all day, Ikept glancing out the ER doors and I grabbed my lunch, I picked up something for Deputy Lazar as well. Iwanted to keep talking with her, but I needed to get back inside, it had been hectic for the rest of my shift.I opened my closet, which the hospital called an office, and tossed in my lab coat and scrubs. Then Itugged on my regular clothes, having to lean against my desk simply because there was barely enoughroom to move, it just happened to be large enough for a desk, not a standard-size office desk either, morelike a student's desk. But, hey, there was a bathroom, which was the only thing halfway decent about thecloset. I guess they realized that we needed the shower since having to hose off vomit, guts, and evenshit was an almost daily occurrence. 

"Ryan, how have you been?"

 I tensed at the sound of his voice butfinished locking my office door before I turned.

 "By your reaction I can tell that you are still no happier tosee me now than you were back then." 

"Mike, I don't have time right now, I'm on my way home."

 "Oh,how's Callie doing?"

 "She's great." "How old is she now?"

 "Six."

 "Wow, so big. And you—" 

I cut him off."Yep, I'm big, too." 

"That's not what I was going to say. I was going to ask how you were." 

It was weirdthat he would ask me that now of all days when Deputy Sadie Lazar—no. It was only because of thesituation. Plus, I was a doctor, so I felt sorry for her having to stand out in the heat. 

"I'm fine," 

I answered.Ugh. He was giving me the slow nod and that always meant he was psychoanalyzing me. 

"Why don't youcome see me?"

 "How about I don't and we say I did?"

 "Ryan, you and I both know that our mind being inperfect health is just as important as any other part of the body.

"My mind is fine. In fact, it reminds me every day that I've lost my wife and I have a little girl to raise,alone."

 "Your situation is different. Not every person has to work where they've lost their spouse orcontinue facing the same situation over and over. Every day you see the exact same scenario that youdid the morning Deirdre died."