A Heart To Heal (BL)

CH 6.1 - Deja Vu (PA)

Back against the wall, Yuto's face was tear-stained. Why did Nagisa shout at him last night? Was it because he asked about getting a job? Was it the persistent questions about marriage? He wasn't even ready to get married. He stared at his reflection in his phone's screen and groaned.

He looked like shit. 'What is he talking about anyway? Who would want to take me away from him when I look this awful?'.

His face was pale and his eyes seemed to have tattooed dark rings under themselves. He didn't even bother to sleep with proper ventilation so he had a stuffy nose. His eyes darted around the room. He hadn't slept in here ever since he and Nagisa had begun dating. Now what? Were they going to break up?

'Is this what it's like to be on the verge of a breakup? It is, isn't it?'.

On the other hand, Nagisa had been trying to apologise to Yuto from the moment he woke up. "Yuto? Are you okay? I can hear you crying in there,"He gulped, knocking the door gently.

"What kind of stupid fucking question is that?! Leave me alone!"Yuto screeched.

"I'll admit that I was in no position to shout at you. It's my fault. I'm in the wrong here. Please let me in so I can make it up to you,".

"Go away. You don't even love me anymore..."

Scratching the back of his head, Nagisa knew that he had made a grave mistake. 'I should learn to control my emotions better. I shouldn't have raised my voice yesterday'. He glanced at the clock and hurriedly got dressed so that he wouldn't be late to work. He still had some spare time left so he prepared some toast and jam for Yuto to eat when he decided to leave the room. Nagisa just felt so guilty for yelling at him the night before.

But, it's not like he could turn time back. He could only take accountability for his own faults now and take care to not repeat them. He covered the food and slipped on his coat. He stole a look at the door to Yuto's room and hastily set a bottle of water down in front of it.

"Yuto? I'm coming home a bit later than usual, okay? There's toast for you on the table."He called out to him, rapping the door softly. "Please have something to eat and drink when you leave your room. There's water for you outside. I'm sorry that I can't skip work today to be with you,".

A loud 'thud' was heard colliding with the door which meant that Yuto must have thrown a pillow at him. "I'm not expecting to be forgiven. But, please don't do anything to endanger yourself while I'm not at home. You have every right to be mad at me,". Nagisa glanced at his watch before he pulled out his wallet and slipped some money underneath the bottle.

"If you don't like whatever I made for you to eat, please take this money and get something from the market. You can also text me to order delivery for you if you don't feel fit enough to trek to the market. I'll understand,".

silence

Nagisa rapped the door once more, his face torn. "Again, I'm sorry for yelling at you and failing to keep my composure. Please come out of your room soon so we can talk this out,".

Seriously, Nagisa had no idea that it would turn out this bad. He buttoned up his coat and huffed. "I'm going to work now, Yuto. Please don't hate me after this. Make sure you have something to eat,". Just like that, he left the house quietly, hoping that Yuto would cool down.

When he heard the car's engine fade in the distance, Yuto unlocked the door to his room and sighed. He made his way to the bathroom to wash his face. He didn't get a wink of sleep last night. He just kept crying and crying because he was so convinced that he was the reason Nagisa was angry last night. He didn't even stop to think that Nagisa had overreacted or behaved irrationally.