Am I Married?

Special Chapter (Ashar's POV)

This chapter is written upon requests and it's more like a summary of Ashar's POV like how he thought, what he felt throughout the book till now.  It's obvious that I can't squeeze his whole POV in just one chapter so it's just a glimpse. 

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Two weeks later

After going through another round of my parents' yelling, I pushed opened my bedroom's door exasperatingly and stepped inside. Since Sanaya had left the house, I was experiencing this almost every day because according to them, it was my fault that she left.

Never in my dreams, I could have thought that she was planning to leave the house, leaving her newborn behind. All that time, all those months when we caged her in this house, she never, once tried to escape. But now, when she began receiving special treatment, respect and love, she chose to disappear into a thin air.

I got rid of my slim-fit, charcoal grey suit's jacket and inattentively tossed it on my bed. I undid the buttons of my cuff and rolled up the sleeves of my off white, cotton shirt. Sitting on the bed, I replayed the conversation in my head when Samara admitted all her wrongdoings.

"Samara, you're assuming on your own. I've no plans to marry you." I gritted lowly. Her face darkened, looking at me as if I'd grown two faces.

"Why? You talked to me normally. You even stopped kicking me out of your room. I thought..." She trailed off.

We both were standing outside of my room and arguing."You thought wrong." I clarified, "Just because I stopped getting angry on you that didn't mean I was reconsidering our marriage plan. I'm so messed up these days and already trapped in a marriage, why would I plan another wedding?"

Her grey eyes glistened at my words. She was shocked and hurt. I just didn't get it from where she got that crazy idea that I was going to marry her. I was hundred percent sure, I didn't mislead her in any way. I just stopped showing my anger to her because lately there was too much in my mind that left me distracted.

"So, you've no plan to marry me at all after your divorce with that girl?" She looked like she was on the verge of crying.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I couldn't deceive her either, so I muttered truthfully, "No, Sam."

"Don't tell me you fell for that girl?"

I stiffened at her question, sucking up my jaws a little.

"Are you going to divorce her or not?" She raised another difficult question.

"Not right now." I said in a low voice, pretending to ignore her first question. She raised her brows, waiting for an explanation.

"I can't think about divorcing her when I've a doubt that she's carrying my baby. If she would've chosen abortion, maybe, I would've thought differently. But, she decided to keep the baby, so I can't anymore." I explicated, ignoring the clench-feeling in my chest.

My heart always clutched whenever I pictured her despaired eyes in my mind. The way Sanaya looked at me that day when I told her that the baby was not mine. She looked broken. My heart wanted to believe her, but the rational part of my brain warned me not to take any risk of trusting that teenager who tricked me and made herself my wife. I had to use all of my willpower and courage to say that I didn't believe her because I was scared that what if she was telling the truth?

"I'm not that cruel, Sam. I've already done enough damage to her." I added on.

After that day, I avoided talking to Sanaya because I feared that my inner most feelings might slip out of my tongue. My brain's warnings were not strong enough, so I knew if she would keep pushing me, I would've just given up and believe her. That young woman probably didn't know but, she could lessen my anger and she did – several times.