Love in a Hopeless Place (Destiel)

Cas is so gay

Castiel has always felt something for Dean. Even in elementary school, when they met in third grade, Castiel knew that he never wanted to be without Dean.

But after puberty, he started feeling other things. He feels the physical attraction to Dean. The emotional attraction is stronger. Not to mention the horniness he feels from thinking about Dean's body. It sucks, because Dean has been working out to stay in shape for football.

Dean runs outside. Everyday. Shirtless, past Castiel's house, and Cas can't help but watch from his window. It's alright, because his room is on the second floor of the house and it's hard to see into his room from the sidewalk. So, Cas can creep all he wants.

Anyways, the emotional feelings have gotten even stronger over the past two weeks. Dean has been so concerned and so helpful with Castiel's broken heart. When Dean slept with him in his bed, Castiel felt 30% better knowing Dean was there for him.

Castiel didn't mean to spoon Dean, it just happened on accident. He was looking for comfort because he was hurt, that was probably it, yeah. But, when he woke up with his arm wrapped around Dean's waist, he felt pleasant. And he smiled at the fact that Dean didn't move away, even in his subconscious.

When they woke up, they didn't talk about the spooning.

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When Cas woke up this morning, he was glad that his eyes weren't dry and burning. He cried everyday. Sometimes it was because of Jack, he would text him and ask for forgiveness and for Castiel to take him back. Cas would either say 'no' or he would ignore him.
Sometimes it was because he didn't know what to do about Dean. But last night he didn't and he was proud that he was getting better.

Dean had been distant these past two weeks, but when he was around, he acted like the best friend he was. He would make sure Cas was okay, he would take Cas out to The Roadhouse for a distraction, even though they couldn't drink, they would get burgers and milkshakes. Cas loved burgers and milkshakes.

When Dean was distant, Cas couldn't help but feel like it was his fault, because he cuddled Dean.

He wanted to bring it up when he texted Dean this morning, but decided to talk to him in person when they see each other for lunch. Dean was taking him to The Roadhouse again. Cas was excited, but nervous. He didn't want to scare Dean off.

Cas rolled out of bed when he heard his phone vibrate. It was Dean's reply.

'I've been sleeping okay, it just takes me forever to fall asleep. N that's good for you Cas, I'm glad you're feeling better.'

Cas smiled. He's so caring... if only... No. Dude, stop, its not happening.

Cas typed out his reply, 'what keeps you up all night..? And thank you, Dean, you have helped me through this a lot'

Cas got up to get some clothes on, he was only wearing boxers.

When he was pulling some jeans on, he heard his phone vibrate on his bed. He looked over at it while putting his foot through the pant hole and missed and tripped and fell on his face. "Oof!" He made a big thunk noise.

He finished putting on his pants while he was on the floor and got up to sit on his bed. He just grabbed his phone when he heard someone yell, "CASSIE, ARE YOU OKAY?"

That was Balthazar, Castiel's older brother. He was twenty-two and was in his third year at a culinary arts school in New York, but he was home for the weekend.

"YEAH IM FINE BALTHY, JUST FELL ON MY FACE."

"ALRIGHT CLUTZ!" Cas heard him laughing.

He looked back down at his phone, Dean had replied,

'Oh, just me thinking a lot about something, I'll tell you at lunch... N I'm glad my help helped lol'

Cas thought about what to reply with.

'Alright, Dean, text me when you're on your way'

Dean replied right away,
'Okie dokie'

Cas set his phone back down, but he got a text again. It was Dean,
'Can't wait'

Oh god oh that's weird, why would he say that?

He set his phone back down and stared at it for a minute. "Hmph.."

He got up and grabbed a shirt from the floor, smelled it, approved it, and slipped it on. He walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen and poured a small bowl of cereal. It was like ten o'clock, Dean was coming in a couple hours, so he didn't have to eat a lot for breakfast today.

After he ate he went into the shower. His shirt didn't smell, but he sure did.

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(Dean's pov.)
Ugh oh my god why did I have to say 'can't wait'? Now he's going to think I like him... Dean paused that thought for a moment. I guess I do like him.. But that doesn't mean he should know!
Dean facepalmed himself.

"Dean, you okay?" Sammy asked.

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine, Sam, just said something stupid to Cas..." He removed his hand from his face and looked over at Sam, who was eating his eggs. Sam looked at him through his floppy bangs of his floppy hair. He grinned.

"What, did you tell him about your massive crush on him?"

Dean's eyes widened, "what?? Crush?? Pffffffff. I don't have a crush on Cas! Ha!" Dean rapidly shook his head. "No Sammy, you don't really think I have a crush on him, right?"

Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean.
"Really? How can I not? You have been best friends since forever, you talk almost non-stop about him, and you spent the last two weeks going through two emotions: happy and sad. Happy, because Cas is now single, and sad because you're confused and Cas has been sad. Seriously, wake up. You. Like. Cas. Everyone knows it except you two." Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean, "I bet you think that Cas doesn't like like you. Well, he definitely does."
Dean stared wide-eyed at Sam this whole time.

"Dude, okay, I guess I like Cas... but he doesn't like me, I'm not his type, don't you see the guys he's been dating?"

"Maybe he's dating them because he thinks he has no chance with you."

Dean thought for a moment. "He thinks I'm totally straight. Hell, I thought I was straight. Aw man, I gotta tell him."

Sam threw him a bitchface. "Ya think?"
Dean hurried to finish his breakfast.

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A/n: alright I decided I don't need readers right now to write! I'll just keep writing and you know... Hope for someone to come across this and read it ;-;