s h w l k s t n g h t
1
"I'm not afraid to be killed. I'm more than afraid of killing someone."
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How would you like to die?
Some people would say, taking sleeping pills, car accident, or stabbed with sharp knife. There are many ways how people die. But for me, I'd rather choose to die with a painless death.
Not to wake up is better way than brutally killed by someone or something, right? It's not that I wish to be dead but if fate would give me an option, I'd rather choose it. In that way, I could live in my own dream, but not breathing.
That was me, four years ago. My answer would still be the same if these weird things didn't happen from the start.
"Seems like Ms. Suarez has something to say? Would you like to share it with us?" Tila nabalik ako sa realidad nang nakita kong nakatingin Mr. Gomez sa akin. Nagsimulang lumingon ang mga kaklase ko sa likod kung saan ako nakapwesto.
"How would you like to die?" Pag-uulit niya.
"I don't want to die." Sambit ko kaya nagsimulang magtawanan ang lahat. Napakunot ang noo ko at nilibot ang paningin upang tignan sila. What's wrong with my answer?
Napatigil ang lahat nang marinig naming pumalakpak si Mr. Gomez ng apat na beses at saka nagsalita.
"Of course, we don't want to die. But since we're talking about death, kailangan nating marinig ang opinyon ng isa't isa. Our topic for today is not engaging you to commit suicide or killings, ha? This is about how we make decisions in life wisely. Right, class?" And the class, including me, answered "yes" in chorus at tumango-tango pa. Mr. Gomez smiled lightly.
"That's for today. Bye, class!" And he stormed out of the room, holding the papers we made earlier.
Napabuntung-hininga na lamang ako habang nililigpit ang gamit at saka ipinasok sa bag. It's been already two weeks since this school year has started and I feel so tired. Napahikab ako habang sinusukbit ang strap ng bag sa balikat. I need coffee.
"What's poppin'?" Bumungad sa harapan ko si Paige na nakahamba pa sa pintuan. Suot nito ang puting uniform habang nakahalukipkip.
Paige Fermin, my bestfriend. And yes, she's a nursing student. She told me she wanted to take care of me. How sweet, right? We've been friends for four years now and I love her.
Umiling ako bilang tugon. Maaga natapos ang klase kaya baka tumambay muna ko sa coffee shop. I need something to drink. Nagsimula kaming maglakad palabas ng classroom nang bigla siyang nagsalita. "Anyway, let's have a drink. Heard there's a new coffee in Screamin' Beans. Wanna go?" pag-anyaya nito.
Napangiti ako. "That's exactly what I need."
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I've been living with my Tita Paula for four years now since my parents died. She adopted and took care of me ever since that incident happened. Apparently, she's the only relative that I have. She's still not married and doesn't have kids yet. She's just living on her own until she has me.
