The flirtation project

Chapter 12

a few hours went by and i was still teary but not as much as before. i couldnt sleep either. at 11:59 i got a call and since in one minute the flirtation project would be over, i assumed it was alice so i answers on the third ring.

"hello?" i whispered into the speaker.
"oh thank god you answered. now let me explain." it was Q. Q. Q. of all people. why did i answer. 

i plced the phone on my bedside table but didnt hang up, hearing his voice was good no matter how much i tried to deny it. i let him speak.

"hello? jenny?-
look im really sorry, i dint want to ruin your day.i just. i didt want to have to tell you right before school started. then you might be alone. look, i know right now im the last person you want to talk to. but just let me explain.... I have always told you that i got to run my family, to always chose when and where we move to. but the truth is. im not that guy that you think i am, and i was afraid to tell you that incase you wouldnt like me anymore, call me a liar and allsorts. the truth is i have no authority whatsoever in my house. none. and my dad was cheating on my mum so shes moving away and i have to go with her.. im sorry...."

"no i sorry" i whispered ever so quiet;ly while clutching my teddy.
"-what?. jenny? is, is that you?" 

Crap. crap. crap. crap. i thought he had hung up! I reached for my phone and quickly hung up. 

i rang alice becuase it was now 12:01 and this was the end of it.

"hello? alice?"
" hey girl!"
"uhh so have you gotten a guy yet?"
"yes, and no.... what about you?"
"pretty much the same. so how is yours yes and no?"
"well..... i do have this amazing guy who likes me and i like him, hes just so amazing and sexy and i love him to bits. hes so nice and awesome and we have so much in common, he is just so fucking amazing. why didnt i see it sooner."
"and whats the no part?"
"its... carlos." she admitted.
"Shit! well, good for you."
"how is yours both? please tell me its not bruce!"
"eww gross no." i told her the whole story of what happened.

"holy fucking shit girl!"
"i know..."

we talked for a while longer about life and other things. then i cuddled my teddy again and tried falling asleep but i just couldnt.. i couldnt stop thinking about Quentin. i was so harsh on him, im not even mad at him. im mad at myslef for being so stupid, as to think this time would be different to any other. as to think he would stay. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO STUPID!!! i threw my pillow across the room and it smashed a few things. but i didnt care. hearing them smash actually made me feel alot better.

i went upstairs and got a bottle of coke. it gone in less than a minute. i got 2 more and tried to drink them slowly. but it didnt work. im an hour i had 25 empty bottles of coke on the floor. what is my problem. why am i so bad that everyone i open up to leaves me, again and again. people wonder why i find it hard to trust people and this was why, everytime it got harder and when i finally trusted someone, they just left. they all did. without a second thought. why.