Thirty Day Writing Challenge! ✮

Day 30- Your Reflection In The Mirror

Day 30- Your Reflection In The Mirror

        I'm not feeling up for anything right now. It's one of those days where I just really hate myself and everything around me. I don't wanna do anything. I haven't eaten much today. I didn't even go to school because last night my chest was being a little bitch. The only thing I want at this moment, I can't have. How did I go from being so happy the last two months to shit right now? Why am I perfectly fine around people but when I'm by myself, I shut down and don't want anything to do with the world. I literally feel myself disconnecting from everything. My temper problem hasn't gotten any better either. I'm so mad and annoyed nowadays. I just wanna know why and how I can fix it. It's not like I can be with my friends 24/7. The only thing I do at home besides sit around is exercise. It's weird to think about how serious I am about exercising. I remember a few years ago how I said exercising was the last thing I'd ever do, but now I'm serious about it and I want to be fit. I wanna be fit cause I feel like I'll never be satisfied with who I am unless I love my body. My mind on the other hand is this whole other conversation. I don't even know what to think about my mind, personality, behavior, etc. I hate being unhappy, I really do, but that's what I am. I'm unhappy. And as much as it scares me, I think deep down I'll always truly be unhappy. 12/4/12

P.S. Wrote this on 12/4/14. Please excuse any mistakes.

I can't believe it took me over TWO years to even get to letter 30. I'm despicable