The Kippens | Tyrus

Out

A/N: Trigger warning for this chapter: homophobia. 

TJ's POV

8 Years Ago

My parents are traditional, to put it simply. They think God made women to be with men, and that anyone who says they're gay has been influenced by modern society. That truth bugs me as I step inside my house and see my parents and sister turn to look at me. Having just come from talking with Cyrus, I'm running on the adrenaline of my decision, not letting my fears render me incapable of speaking this time. I think that when I tell them I'm gay, they might think differently about gay people, because it's their son and not some random person they don't know. 

Both my parents are sitting on the couch together, minds stuck in the episode of Food Network show they're watching, while my sister is at the desk at the back of the room, working on homework. The TV stays playing as I come in and sit down on the armrest of the sofa perpendicular to the one my parents are on. 

"Hi, TJ," my mom says. 

"Hi." The sound of the television drowns out my thoughts, and I can't remember the wording I was going to use anymore. "Can you guys pause the TV for a second?"

My mom looks at me, confused, but she does as I ask. Now the full attention of my family is on me. Even my sister is peering from her desk, wondering what I'm about to do. I didn't talk her her about my idea, so she's probably trying to figure out what I'm going to say right now. 

"What did you need to interrupt our show for?" my dad questions. 

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute," I say. 

My pulse must be powered by my parents' eyes, because I have to look slightly past their heads in order to keep my nerves from overloading with terror. Second thoughts start to prick my brain, but I shove them away. I've made the decision to tell them, so I'm going to tell them. 

"What is it?" my mom asks. 

I can tell by her face that she's starting to worry a little now, but my dad remains stoic. 

"Before I tell you, I just want to make sure you know," I start, "that I'm no different than I ever was. I'm the same boy you raised—"

"Hold on," my dad cuts me off. "Tell us what?"

My sight flickers over to Amber who's staring at me, wide-eyed. She knows what I'm about to say, and I can't tell if she thinks I should continue or stop. 

"I'm, uh, gay."

This is the moment when everything crumbles. It takes a few minutes before my dad says anything, and when he does speak, it's not good.

"You're what?" he checks, his tone low and flat. 

I mutter the answer again, "I'm gay."

He shakes his head, not looking at me anymore. "No you're not."

I don't know what to say. Do I pretend I was joking? Do I promise my honesty? Amber's eyes are down on her homework now, but she's not doing the work. She's listening. 

"Dad," my voice scratches out. 

"No, no, I didn't raise a f*ggot," he snaps, words crisp and hard. 

My stomach drops and my body goes paralyzed. I don't know what to do anymore. I just wish I could take back everything I said, rewind and choose not to say it. My mother isn't looking at me. She keeps her eyes down on the floor, letting my dad do the talking.