Gunner

His Past

Gunner

The waffles pop up... burnt.

I groan.

"Morning!" Lily walks out of our room and I turn to her with a face of anger. "What's wrong?" she laughs.

"Mother fucking waffles are burnt. Again. This is my third batch! It's the fucking same process for the past two days you've been here and I'M LOSING MY MIND!" I place my hands on the side of my head in stress.

She bursts out laughing. "We can just go to waffle house for breakfast" she unplugs the toaster and cleans up. "I appreciate your gesture though"

"Good" I sigh.

My phone, that's right next to Lily, dings. Once I go to get it, Lily picks it up. "Who's Eddie?"

"Nobody" I grab my phone from her hand.

"Then why's he asking you to meet him?" she raises an eyebrow.

"And why are you asking so many questions?" I snap.

"Sorry" she rolls her eyes.

I click on my imessage app and see all of my unanswered text messages to Eddie in the past three months.

Then I look at my blocked list.

Dad

Mama ❤️

Grandpa

Layla ❤️

Uncle Oliver

Uncle Nick

Guess I just never had the energy to block Eddie.

"Let's go out for breakfast" I throw on my coat and grab my keys.

"Oookay" Lily trails off and follows me out of the house.

We get into my car and I speed off before she can even put her seatbelt on.

Lily's been staying with me for three days now and she's just not getting comfortable around me. But still not herself. I mean, I know she's a goofy girl, but she still has this shy and depressing girl act on. If it's even an act. I just want her to let loose and not be so scared of me.

I mean, I guess I did come off like a dick.

But that's my lifestyle. Girl after girl after girl.

"I'm weirdly close to everything" I pull into the empty parking lot.

"Yeah, I noticed" she gets out of the car.

I groan and follow her. "Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not" she pouts.

I raise an eyebrow as she sits at a little booth.

The waitress looks at me and I look at her.

"What? Girlfriend's mad" I say and she puts her hands up in defeat as she goes about her day. I shake my head and sit down in front of Lily. "Really, what's wrong?" I take her hands.

She looks at me. "You just... push me away, Gun"

"What do you mean?! I'm always talking to you!" I put my hands out.

"I mean, personal stuff! You know about me, but I know nothing about you! Yet, we're dating. You're so... closed off" she sits back and crosses her arms.

I sigh. "What do you want to know, beautiful?"

"Like... who's Eddie?" she asks.

"I don't like to t-"

"See! That's exactly what I'm talking about!" she shakes her head.

"Well fucking sorry! Nobody has a past that they like to tell!" I snap.

"What past?! What's wrong?! Who's Eddie? Why don't you talk to your dad?! Why do you have no pictures of your family?!" she puts her arms on the table.

"What can I get you guys to drink?" a waitress walks up.

"Coke, please" Lily turns to her.

"Water" I stare at Lily.

The waiters nods and walks off.

"That was rude" she says.

"Eddie. Eddie is my brother" I flat out say. "We did everything together, never apart. Each other's only fucking friends"

"And why are-"

"Why I don't talk to my family? A fucking tragedy happened and as time grew, I wanted nothing to fucking do with them. Not even Eddie" I sit back.

"What tragedy?" she tilts her head, voice lowering.

I look down. "The Red Hooders... they surrendered and ended when I was thirteen. And we were all together, besides my mama and baby sister, Layla. A car lost control and flipped on us. Killing my younger brother, Genesis" I clench my jaw and look up. "He looked forward to so much. He was always the hopeful and positive brother. Would never hurt a fly"

"I-I'm so sorry-" Lily takes my hands and I look at her. "I'm so sorry. But why would you stop talking to your family?"

"I don't want anything to do with Archers. I know I'm one, but I don't want to be. I've always had trouble making friends, like you, because of my title. I love my family, so much, but I put my wall up and had to stay away from those flashbacks. I saw the metal bar sticking out of my little brother's head. I dreamt that over and over and over every single night. I would wake up crying and who would always be there? Eddie. We didn't tell anyone about the dreams. And as time went on, I couldn't do it anymore. Every face. My dad. My mama. My baby sister. Eddie. All remind me of my little brother who had so many goals, dying at eleven. I pushed myself away from everyone, moved out at eighteen, and blocked everyone on my phone. But not Eddie... my heart was never strong enough for that" I clench my jaw. "I was so alone in this huge house of mine, so that's when my drinking and smoking came in. And where I bring women over every night for a fuck"

"This is too heavy" Lily frowns. "But why would you leave your family? They need you... and it's like they lost two sons"

"Yeah, well, I can't keep looking at them. Like I said, I don't want to be associated with Archers or the name The Red Hooders. They're always the reason nobody has friends. And you're kinda proof of that" I sit back.

She tries to speak. "Go see Eddie, Gun. Go see your best friend. After all of the texts I see, he needs you. He needs this brother. And I'm pretty sure your parents need their son. It's been years"

"Beautiful, they're Archers. They have trackers. They know where I am and it works both ways if one wants to see the other" I clench my jaw.

She looks at me. "Do you think this is your fault?"

"No!" I snap.

"Do you..." she frowns and takes my hands.

"Genesis always looked up to me. I was his brother. I was suppose to protect him and keep him from danger, like we promise each other when we were kids. And what I will never forgive myself was when it was the day of his funeral, I didn't go. I didn't say goodbyes" I look down. "Shit happens, beautiful. People die"

"I know it fucked with your head, Gun. But you need to... move on. It was ten years ago. Let your family in. Let me in" she rubs the back of my hands with her thumbs. "You're a great guy"

I sigh.

"Where's this waitress?" I sit up.

"Sorry, didn't wanna interrupt your conversation" the waitress pops up and places our drinks on the table.

Lily and I look at each other, bursting out laughing.