Gunner

Peaceful

is it kind of the move to make the next book a soft one?🥺

alsooooo, does uploading tuesday and thursday seem fine for you guys? or do you want 2 different days? cause i can make it happen! i just want everyone to agree!

Lily

j o y
it's when
your heart is full
and smiling
when life tries to
chip your happiness away
and it's courage
when fear tries to
take ahold of your direction
and it's peace
when nothing in your
life is stable
and it is love in your bones
when the rest of the
world is telling you no
-m.k.

A smile spreads across my face.

"Whatcha reading?" Gunner ruffles my hair as he walks by.

"The book of poems I bought last night" I smile. "They're so calming and I love reading all of them. Hint hint! Christmas is coming up!!"

"I'll get you some" he laughs and throws a towel over his shoulder. "I'm heading in the shower so we can leave once I'm done"

I nod and look back at my book.

He walks into the bathroom, shutting the door.

"I know you can't hear yet, but I'll read you some of her works!" I rub my stomach and pause, sighing. "I wish I was brave enough to tell your daddy about you. He would be sooo happy and excited to know about you... but, I'm just scared he won't" I frown. "I love you already... even though you scare me"

So much.

"MOTHER FUCKER" I hear a bottle fall, I'm guessing onto Gunner's toe.

Happens every time.

**

"Nice and warm" I sit on the little chair in the hot tub.

"Yeah, like your moms vagina" Eddie says.

"Ha. Ha."

"Stop being annoying" Layla smacks her brother.

I laugh. "Layla, you are body goals!"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Gunner looks at me.

"That she has the perfect Archer body" I kick my feet in the water.

"Ba-"

"You have a gorgeous body, Lil!" Layla splashed water on me, nanking me laugh.

But Gunner doesn't take his eye off me. "Yeah, exactly. You have no reason to envy another persons body, beautiful. Nobody in the world should-"

"Sooo are we having a lecture or having fun? Because, I graduated school years ago and lectures is why I didn't go to college" Eddie pats Gunners back.

Gunner sighs. "I'm just saying. You're body is gorgeous, beautiful"

I smile and peck his lips. "I love you"

"You guys wanna order pizza?" Layla grabs her phone on the deck behind her.

I put my hand on my stomach. "Duh"

"I'm down" Eddie slingshots a hair tie at me.

"Hey!" I grab it from under the water and slingshot it back.

Gunner gets out of the hot tub. "I'm gonna grab the heated towels"

We nod and all patiently wait for the pizza.

I hold my stomach and Layla looks at me as she's on the phone. "You okay?" she mouths.

I nod.

Again.

"You sure? You look like you're about to throw up!" Eddie stands up.

"I-" I get out the of hot tub. "I don't feel good-"

"Dude!" Eddie gets out to hold me.

"What's going on?!" Gunner runs over.

I hold my head. "Stop causing a scene! I'm fine!" I run into the house.

Oh look, I'm the one causing the scene.

**

"Lils..." Layla walks into the room where I am, holding a huge teddy bear. "What's wrong? You're not acting right, I mean, the pizza's here and you're not even eating it..."

"I'm surprised Gunner isn't behind you" I look down.

"No... he wants to leave you be since he thinks it's his fault" she sits next to me.

"Of course he does, he always does" I frown.

Layla rubs my back. "What's going on? You've been acting weird for days"

I tear up, breaking. "I'm pregnant, Layla"

Her eyes widen. "W-what? Are you really?!"

"Yes" I cry.

"Does Gunner know?" she gasps and sits up. "Oh... he doesn't" she trails off. "Why not? He wants a baby with you!"

"I don't know! I'm scared" I squeeze the bear. "I'm not ready to be a mother... I lost my own! I can't be one..."

"But your mother was manipulative..."

"But she cared about me"

"Please tell him" she frowns. "He would want to know"

I shake my head, sniffling. "I'm not ready yet. Let me deal with it first-"

"But he can help you! Gunner only has you to make his heart full. Please make room for another. He use to always want a family with the love of his life-"

"W-"

"Don't say you don't think you're the love of his life, you are! He's so in love with you, only you. Please tell that boy you're pregnant with his child. He's gonna be so happy" she places her hand on mine.

"I'm not ready" I stand up and wash my face, looking presentable before walking out to grab some pizza. But, I notice Gunner hasn't eaten, making me sit next to him. "You know I'm not upset with you, right?" I chuckle and kiss his cheek.

"It feels like you are" he looks at me.

"I'm not. I'm just having bad stomach pains" I hold his huge hand.

"Maybe you should take a pregnancy test, babe" he frowns. "I hate seeing you all sick"

"Stomach pains doesn't mean you're pregnant, babe" I laugh.

"But I check under the cabinets everyday for my deodorant and your package of tampons literally haven't been opened-" he pauses "I'm sorry, that sounds like-"

"No no, I get it. Please don't be worried" I run my hand down his arm.

"But if you are..." he looks down, playing with my hands. "Know I wouldn't be upset. Know that I do want a family with you"

"I know" I kiss his forehead. "Now, let's finish this pizza!"

He laughs and nods.

This is gonna be so freaking difficult.

Fuck.