[DISCONTINUED] Actions not Words (Mute!Alexander)(COVER NOT MINE)

noose

Alex's POV

(The next day)

Yesterday was one of the worst days in college I have ever experienced. But it had a happy(ish) ending. John's words echoed through my mind as we walked to Marine Biology.

'I'll do my hardest to keep you safe. Always and forever.'

My face heated up just thinking about it. I can't believe out of everybody, John was the one who told me what I've always wanted to hear. 

He probably didn't mean it Alex. He was just trying to stop your whining.

No! He meant it! 

I look up at John and he smiles at me. If this isn't love, what is? 
He stops me halfway down the hall and rubs his arm.
"So, Alex...about last night... Will you please tell me what happened?" God.. I hoped this question wouldn't come up. But I should tell him about debate class at least.. but I'm not ready to talk about my depressing and suicidal thoughts yet.

'I was at a debate class and Jefferson and Madison were talking shit about me. Jefferson mentioned something personal so I slapped him and then it all kicked off..' I signed, my hands slightly shaking.

John sighed.

"Alex, I know that's not why you practically had a mental breakdown. You wouldn't cry over that because you're brave. Look, you don't have to tell me right this second but I want to know. I thought we were best friends? We're ment to tell eachother if we feel down.." He carried on walking down the corridor. I feel bad for not telling him, I really do.

We enter Marine Biology and John let out a gasp of excitement. Infront of the class was a tank with a turtle giving birth.

Look, Alexander! Those turtles are gonna have a happy family and grow up to be lovely. Your nothing but an orphan and son of a whore.

NOT IN CLASS FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

I shyly take a seat next to John, quivering slightly. He looked at me quizzically but then his eyes focussed back to the front of the class.

Nothing that interesting happened in that class. Well, except that this was my first time in marine biology, and the teacher thought I was being ignorant. They legit didn't know that I'm mute, so yeah, that sucked. I'm actually surprised I didn't wind up in detention. John tried to stick up for me, but that asshole of a teacher wouldn't have any of it.

I'm so grateful to have John as a friend.

John's POV

There is something Alex isn't telling me. I need to get to the bottom of this.
I ponder this while in my dorm, sitting on my bed. Something catches my eye though, in the corner of the room. Something is hanging out of Alex's drawer. Making sure nobody can see, I make my way over to the draw, opening it slowly.

Oh my god. What the fuck?!? Why does he have a makeshift noose?!

My hand shaking like crazy, I pull the noose out of the draw. I'm in utter shock. What should I do?!?

John, you need to call Alex over right now. You don't want the death of the best thing in your life on your hands.

"A-Alexander!" I attempt to shout, yet it comes out as more of a whisper. He seemed to hear me, though, as I saw his little figure approach the door.

His eyes widen when he sees what I am holding.

'w.. what's that??' He signs hesitantly.

"Don't you dare play that game with me!! What is this?!?!?" I say, my voice sounding more strong, even though I'm dying inside.

Our eyes lock, and he smiled sadly.

'You found me out I guess...'

"Why Alexander... Why would you do this?!? You have so much to live for!!!" I say, my voice shaking and my hands trembling.

'Not really..' he thought about something for a second.
'You are the only thing keeping me alive, John.'
He sat down on his bed, patting the place next to him, signalling for me to sit there.
'If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have anything to live for.' I noticed he had started to tear up. His tears are contagious, just like his smile. I start to cry and I pull him into a hug, a tight one.

"You have so much to live for!!! You may not think so, but I KNOW so!!! Don't let others opinions get to you.. I wouldn't be able to live my life if you weren't in it. Please, can you stop this????"
I hear him whimper.
"ALEXANDER PLEASE!!!" I screamed.
He pulled away from the hug and lifted up his sleeve.
On his arm were multiple cuts, some bright red and some more faint. My hands clasped my mouth, I had to hold my breath so I didn't scream.
'I'll stop.. for you..' He signed.
"Promise me... Promise me Alex that you'll never ever do this again!"
'I promise...'
He then smiled mischievously and tackled me over with the biggest hug ever. I embraced the smaller boy back, slightly blushing.

Just at that moment, Herc and Laf entered the dorm, snickering like two schoolgirls. Herc said something that made Lafayette blush, and he gently punched his arm. They turned around to look into mine and Alex's room and they stop giggling for a moment, then burst out into hysterical laughter.
"H-Hey, what's so funny?!?" I stuttered, gently pushing Alex off of me and getting to my feet. I then realised the noose was still on the bed, and I guessed that Alex would not want to tell them just yet, so I picked him up and sat him on top of it.

They made their way into our room, smirking, sneaking glances  at each other. I rolled my eyes.

"Yo, guys, there is something we've been meaning to tell you.." Herc said.

'Go ahead' Lex signed.

Herc grabbed Laf's hand and Laf placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

Alex squealed and clapped his hands together. I smiled at them.
"I'm so happy for you!" I said, a hint of sadness creeping through my voice. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for them! Its just sad.. seeing others get together when I'm just lonely.
I think they realised something was up, because they pulled me out of the room almost immediately.

"Mon Ami, what on earth is up?" Lafayette questioned.
I sighed.
"Promise you won't tell a soul?" They nodded.
"I kind of have always liked Alex.... And it's just sad to see couples all around me and the person who I like probably is the straightest person on the earth.." I sighed sadly.
"Dude... You think he doesn't like you? We've all seen how he looks at you. " Herc said.
Yeah, whatever. As if someone like Alex would love someone like me.