teeth ↣ joshler ✓

12. Strong

Warning for mention of an eating disorder. No one has one but it's mentioned and I just want to caution you guys

Tears filled Tyler's eyes as he pushed open the side doors of the school. He knew there was a bench out by this exit and that's all he needed. Fresh air.

Jenna followed, her heels clicking quickly on the floor as she hurried.

Tyler sat on the bench and let his fingers fall in his hair, gripping tightly. He needed something to ground him— to distract him from it all. It was all too much. He could hear every heartbeat, see every vein, smell every meal.

He closed his eyes tightly because he knew if they were open they'd be bright red. He closed his mouth tightly because he knew if it was open his fangs out be out. He was in overdrive.

"Ty..." Jenna approached cautiously.

Tyler just ignored her, the grip on his hair tightening. He couldn't do this. He was either going to kill someone or implode.

"Tyler. Look at me," Jenna demanded.

The mentioned still couldn't bring himself to comply. He was freaking out. He didn't want to be like this. He was supposed to be a normal teenage boy. He was supposed to be worrying about failing his math test or figuring out who he was going to eat lunch with. He wasn't supposed to be terrified he was going to kill someone. He wasn't—

He felt Jenna pull his hands away and he looked up. He saw a stern look on her face and she gripped his hands tightly. "Repeat after me."

Tyler let out a whimper and shook his head. He couldn't open his mouth. He didn't want to deal with what had happened.

"Repeat after me," Jenna spoke again, but that time her voice was demanding. "I have more power than I think."

"I have more power than I think," Tyler spoke quietly.

"I have more control than I think."

"I have more control than I think," he copied, feeling his fangs retract.

"I'm not going to hurt anybody."

"I'm not going to hurt anybody," he lied. He didn't believe himself. Jenna was putting too much faith into him.

"Everything will be okay."

Tyler took a deep breath. "Everything will be okay."

Jenna offered him a small smile. "Better?"

He could still sense the subtle beats of hearts underneath the thumps of the music but he didn't feel like he was going to rip apart someone's jugular vein with his teeth anymore so that was improvement. "Better."

"Talk me through what happened."

"I went into overdrive. I thought I was going to attack someone, Jenna," he explained, his hands shaking. "I wanted to kill someone for food Jenna."

"That's expected," she replied. "Did I ever tell you what happened freshman year? After I was turned? At the spring sports assembly?"

"No..."

"It had been like a week since I had fed— which I assume is why you're freaking out now —and we were in the middle of our performance and I felt this overwhelming urge to just attack our flyer. I wanted to just rip her apart— which is terrifying. I had to excuse myself and go decompress in the locker room. I told my coach I threw up. That's when my mom found out."

"Wait, really? I thought you told her."

"Not exactly..." Jenna let out a sniffle but she wasn't crying. "She came into the bathroom to check on me since she was in the teacher area and saw what happened. She knocked on the stall door of the bathrooms in the locker room and refused to leave until I came out of the stall. I was a mess. My eyes were red and my fangs were out and mascara was running down my face," she let out a humorless laugh. Tyler saw a tear slip down her face. "And she looked so horrified. She looked at me like I wasn't her daughter anymore."

Tyler's heart ached for Jenna. "But things are obviously better now."

"For sure," she wiped the tear off of her cheek. "But at that moment, it didn't feel like she loved me anymore. Of course we had talked about it and had to explain it to my dad later but that doesn't mean I felt like any less of a disappointment. Even if getting turned wasn't my fault."

Tyler grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, Jen."

She looked up and offered him a sad smile. "It's okay. Y'know it took them awhile to get used to it and even longer for them to understand but now it's not even an issue."

"You never told me that story," Tyler pointed out. "You told me how you got turned but you never told me how your mom found out."

"It's not an impressive story or anything," she responded. "You know what's funny?"

"What?"

"She thought I was bulimic," Jenna told him sadly. "She noticed I hadn't been myself. I was skipping meals and I looked paler and hollow inside. She noticed I was 'out at practice' more and thought I was overworking myself when I was just trying to survive," she let out another humorless laugh. "And it turned out I was just a blood sucking freak. A dead, blood sucking freak. Her own daughter."

"Jenna," Tyler sighed. "Things are better now. They know you're okay. They know what's happening. That's a big weight lifted off your shoulders. You're the strongest person and I know and you help keep me strong every day. I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled.

"I'm hungry," Tyler admitted sheepishly.

Jenna let out a laugh. "I assumed so. You might have to start feeding twice a week if your body keeps doing this, okay?"

Tyler nodded. "Okay."

Suddenly the side doors opened and the two looked over to see a worried Josh walking out. "Hey. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Jenna spoke up for Tyler. "He just had a panic attack."

Josh looked at him, the concern growing. "How are you feeling?"

Tyler's heart swelled at how much he cared. He didn't even think about how he shouldn't be getting attached. He was just happy Josh came to check up on him. "Better now that you're here," Tyler joked.

Josh blushed slightly and Tyler made a mental note of that. "Do you wanna go home? You're probably overstimulated."

He was pretty accurate for a kid who didn't know his best friends were dead. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all," Josh smiled. "I understand."

Tyler smiled at him as Jenna helped him up. "Thanks, Josh."

"Anytime."