"Why am I looking at him like that?"
It took longer than it should've, but I finally worked up the courage to say what I've been wanting to say for almost seven months now...
"He's a man though... I shouldn't even consider it."
my thoughts were driving me mad. Ukraine was here as well, I didn't to say this in front of both of them... They seemed happy, so I let them continue whatever conversation they were having first. I didn't want to end the world around me just yet.
Everyone stopped and stared...
"Hey Alfred... How do you not care about this?"
"They don't worry me. They can think what they wanna think." I admired his confidence, he's putting up with what I was horrified of. I could clearly hear them whispering about two men holding hands, and I tried to be like Alfred and have it not bother me. To a certain extent, I think its effect lessened. We leaned against the wall of a building, and Alfred pulled me close to him.
"Ivan... listen to me. I can practically feel the tension between us. This is not enough for you, isn't it?" I already know what he's thinking...
What for? To prove a point?"
"Yes." he looked at me with gorgeous eyes, full of hope yet desperation. I glanced around at the people staring, but I didn't care anymore. I kissed him softly, pulling him into an embrace as he kissed back. Nobody said or did anything, they let us live, but I know their judgment was strong. Though maybe it didn't matter as much as I thought it did..
When I last saw him, his eyes were colorless. Mine weren't any better. He told me he thought I had beautiful eyes, that a rare color is something to be proud of. Now, I don't see anything beautiful about the color of overcast skies. I saw my sisters talk, but I stood to the side of the door frame.
"You're such a child..." I rubbed my head and sighed silently.
He was completely unaware, he had no shame aiming a gun at me.
"You wouldn't shoot. You're too weak to do so." I pulled out the small revolver I had, appearing to be more intimidating now that I've shown a weapon.
"Y-You don't know that! And how can I be weak at all? You don't scare me in the least!" I saw him shake nervously, and I laughed at how pathetic he was.
"Alright. Let's play a game." I emptied five of the six rounds and spun the chamber, making America stand up a little straighter.
"If you really don't fear me. You won't mind..." I ran up and aimed the gun at his temple, clearly catching him off guard.
"Playing some roulette..." he looked at me in terror, and I felt regret, but something was telling me to hate him.
"Wait... I-"
"No. Pull the trigger." he looked down, and I noticed his eyes started to water. Although I was wrong, he didn't look scared. He looked sad... I stood there going back and forth, whether I should take the chance or not. I love him, why am I doing this?! I changed my mind, and aimed the weapon at my own head.
"No, don't!" America grabbed my wrist, his grip was so tight I could feel my circulation cutting off. I wanted to say thank you...
"You... You proved your point." he took my gun away without effort, and opened the chamber to see the bullet wouldn't have fired for two more rounds.
"Thank god..." he muttered before walking away. Why would he stop me? He should hate me.
I hated remembering those days... But I didn't have any more time for flashbacks.
YOU ARE READING
Rules are Rules-Hetalia RusAme
Fanfiction*some chapters are very long ;-;* Russia and America adore each other, but could never say a word. One is haunted by the thought of his people and family hating him. And the other doesn't even understand his own feelings. Although when an unfortunat...
