so far away ; myg

REALITY

Reverie felt grogginess wash over her. She felt her eyes flickering underneath her closed lids. She couldn't bring herself to open them.

Then it came; the pain. The never ending pain. She wanted to groan, scream out. She wanted to move, to try and alleviate the pain but her body wouldn't budge. It was like her brain was perfectly awake but her body was still sound asleep, refusing to wake up. It was torture, Reverie wanted it to end.

After minutes of suffering, wishing she would drift off back to sleep and never wake up again, Reverie's other senses began to heighten. Her eyes still stayed glued shut but she felt her hand twitch and underneath her fingers she felt a rough blanket. It was thin, making her wonder how she wasn't cold.

Her nose stung, the smell of disinfectant almost suffocating. It made her want to gag, to block her nose.

She felt things attached to her, wires which she was sure would lead to machines.

Then she remembered. She remembered the painful reality. This was her bedroom. It had been for the past three years. She desperately wanted to open her eyes. She wondered if she did, would she see her mother sitting by her side like she had done for the past three years? Or would the seat be empty? Maybe her mother had gone home to take a shower or was she having her lunch?

Reverie then took notice of how dry her throat was. It was painful to swallow. She needed water. Needed it desperately. But still her body refused to move.

Suddenly, as if her ears had been plugged and someone had just taken the plugs out, sound erupted around her. It was deafening like the noises were pressing up against her eardrums.

She heard the constant beeping of the machines around her. She recognised one machine which was particularly annoying, monitoring her heartbeat to make sure she wasn't going to flatline. With the pain she felt, she hoped it would happen soon.

She heard talking, muffled footsteps outside her room. She heard the squeak of wheels from trollies and other machinery being pushed along by doctors and nurses. She heard the cries of despair from families, heard the screams of agony from the other patients.

It was all too much. She wanted out. She wanted to fall back asleep where she was safe. Where she was away from this prison.

Then she heard it, the sound of her door opening and clicking shut. She heard muffled footsteps and guessed no more than two people had entered her room. It sounded far away but she tried to focus on what they were saying.

"What do you-"

That was her mother. Reverie could recognise that gentle voice anywhere. There was no doubt about it. Reverie felt ecstatic, her mother was here, by her side.

"What I mean to say, Skye, is that she's no longer responding to the treatment."

Reverie heard her mother, Skye, suck in a sharp intake of breath, and when she spoke next, her words trembled. "But there's got to be more you can do?! Different treatment, more operations. You've got to give her more time!"

Reverie wanted to sit up and run to her mother's side and hug her. Squeeze her until she no longer felt anger. Until she no longer felt resentment. Until she no longer felt sad.

"There is nothing else we can do. We've tried all the treatment possible but still the tumour continues to grow."

Reverie couldn't digest the conversation. It was like she was someone else listening in on a conversation about a dying girl. It was hard to believe she was the one dying. She didn't have time to feel afraid though, she could feel her body becoming more heavy. She felt sleep lulling over her again and for the first time since she could remember, Reverie fought against it. She needed to stay awake.

"What will happen to her?" It was her mother again. She sounded full of despair. Reverie felt guilt. She caused this. All the suffering was her fault.

"We will give her as much time as we possibly can. But I think it's time to start saying your goodbyes."

A choked sob. Her mother was crying. Reverie wanted to call out, tell her mother that it would be alright, that she was right here by her side.

Reverie's mother didn't respond to the other woman, she just continued to cry.

"I'm sorry," It was the second person again who spoke. She must be a nurse, Reverie guessed. "But we'll make however long left she has the best we possibly can. She still has her Make A Wish remember?"

Silence. Still no response from Reverie's mother but more heartbreaking sobs came.

Reverie didn't know how to feel. But before it could all come crashing down on her and crush her under its weight, sleep called for her again, more demanding than ever. The need for sleep became so strong that Reverie could no longer fight against it.

So she didn't.

She willed herself to fall asleep again, no longer wanting to be here. Sleep gladly took her in its arms and soon Reverie was falling, disappearing into her imagination, going to the one place she was safe. The one place she was healthy. The one place she was happy. The one place she was with him...

(This is so depressing but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.)