so far away ; myg

DREAM

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Reverie lied. The truth was ever since she remembered the truth about herself, everything seemed so different.

Even now, in this perfect little escape she had created for herself, reality seemed to be catching up with her; reminding her she was running out of time. That she was living on borrowed time.

"You're lying."

Reverie laughed but it was humourless. Nothing about that was funny. She looked up at Yoongi's worried face and she melted a little. Why couldn't this be real? Why did they have to be so far away from each other in reality? Why did she have to be sick?

Suddenly, a wave of emotions hit her all at once. Reverie was aware that this was a dream. She had always been aware that being here with Yoongi was in her mind but it always felt so real. She always thought it was because she knew Yoongi well enough to be able to imagine what he would do if he was actually sitting in front of her but a wave of doubt hit her. What if it was just the medication she was receiving that made it all seem real?

What if this was just side effects?

What if he was just a coping mechanism?

Reverie knew she took a lot of medication. Medication for pain, medication to try and slow the tumours growth.

She remembered having to do Radiotherapy and Chemotherapy. Both in which had side effects of severe fatigue.

"Reverie."

Reverie heard Yoongi's voice but it sounded far away. She couldn't focus on it. She looked down at her body. Her skin glowed healthily, it was a perfect golden colour, not a blemish in sight. She felt her head. She had a full set of hair and it was silky and long in her hands. She grabbed a peice and brought it up to her face, it was a beautiful chestnut colour and seemed to glow red in the burning golden sunlight.

Reverie suddenly wanted a mirror. She wanted to know what she looked like now, in this moment. She wondered if this was what she looked like before she succumbed to the sickness. She wondered if she looked like this in the real world, or different. Would she look frail? Would she still have all her hair? Would her skin still look healthy or would it be pale and yellowish? Would she be really skinny or would she still have the healthy weight she did currently with just the right amount of curves?

Reverie wanted to cry. She felt despair well up inside her. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

Reverie looked at Yoongi again and her heart broke. If this was just a side effect to her illness, does that mean when she does eventually give into the illness, will he too?

Reverie didn't know if she was just crying in her dream or if her mother would look down at her daughters sleeping figure and see tears cascading down her cheeks too but she couldn't stop them once they started. The tears seemed endless.

Reverie collapsed into Yoongi and sobbed. She felt every inch of her breaking. He held her and rocked her back and forth, whispering sweet nothing's in her ear but it didn't help. Nothing did.

Reverie cried. She cried for herself. She cried for Yoongi. She cried for her mother and she cried for the life that she would never be able to live, all because of this stupid illness...

(Not long left of this story now. I told you it would all be short. I'm also making myself cry while writing this, so I'm just gonna go and continue to cry. Bye)