so far away ; myg

DREAM

Today Reverie had brought them both to her childhood bedroom. She had never brought Yoongi here, partly because she hadn't seen the place in three years and it pained her to think about her life before it all turned to chaos and partly because she was embarrassed by all the BTS merch that was covering the room.

"I must say I'm impressed. I didn't know someone could own so many posters of the same people." Yoongi said with a smirk. "I particularly like all the posters of me, it really lights up the room."

Reverie scoffed. "Shut up." She retorted with an eye roll but she couldn't stop her cheeks turning red in embrassment.

Yoongi saw and chuckled lightly. "So this is your room?"

"Was my room." Reverie corrected sadly, ignoring the confused look Yoongi sent her way.

Reverie walked over to her closet. She had only come here for one purpose. She needed to see herself. Needed to remember every detail. She wouldn't let herself forget ever again.

Reverie pulled open her closet doors and looked at the full length mirror that was on the inside of the right door. Again, Reverie didn't know if what she was seeing was what she looked like now, or if it was before the illness attacked her or even if it was what she wished she looked like but she didn't care. She just needed to remind herself one last time.

Reverie stood frozen as she looked at her appearance. She had blue eyes. They were a dark deep blue, almost unnoticeably so if you didn't look close enough. Her nose was small and straight and she had a few tiny freckles dotted along it and her cheeks. Her cheeks were slightly chubby but her jaw was prominent. She didn't like her chin, it stuck out a bit too much for her liking.

Reverie turned her head, still looking at her reflection. She had rather a large mole on the side of her neck. She also hadn't realised how long her hair was, it reached her lower back.

She had a skinny body, a reasonably sized bust, a small waist but she had large thighs. Reverie looked down, she had rather large feet for the size of her body too. Without taking her shoes off she guessed she was about a size 6 or 7.

Reverie laughed. She was sure when she lived without sickness, she picked apart every flaw about her body but now in this moment when she knew she only had so little time left, she loved every inch of it. She loved her large feet and big thighs. She loved the mole on her neck and the fact that her teeth were slightly crooked.

She wished in that moment she had more time. She wished she would have had time to hate her body but in time learned to love it. She wished she could've gone to university and studied music. She wished she could've met the love of her life and eventually got married, maybe to have kids as well. She wished she could've lived.

Yoongi came up from behind Reverie. He smiled at her through the reflection of the mirror. "You looked like you had a happy childhood." He was referring to the polorid wall she had above her bed. It held pictures of friends and family and memories of a time she would never get back.

Reverie turned towards him. "I did. I really did."

Reverie looked up and met his gaze. He was staring at her sadly, like he finally understood what was going on. Maybe he had all along but Reverie didn't want to believe it herself so she unconsciously ignored it.

"I don't want to go." She whispered to him and for a second time fell into his arms and cried.