ACOTAR Oneshots

The Breakdown

"I hate you for making me come here!" Screamed Nesta as she tried to shove Cassian out the door to her cabin. He barely surrendered half a step. She then repeatedly pounded her fists against his chest and screamed in rage.

Cassian grabbed both her wrists and held them firm. Nesta tried desperately to escape his hold on her. "Let go of me you bloody bastard!" She screeched and rammed her shoulder into him with full force. He yielded one step back, bumping into the wall.

"Nesta, calm down, dammit, please!" He screamed, trying to regain his grip on her while she twisted and turned. Cassian let go for a split second to grab her shoulders and spin her around so her back was to his chest. He quickly wrapped his giant arms around her like a straight jacket and squeezed. Nesta let out a war cry as she whirled relentlessly in his arms but got nowhere. She knew she was completely stuck but she didn't stop. Couldn't.

"Nesta, please, I'm trying to help you!"

"Ahhhhhh!" she yelled, piercing Cassian's ears, making him growl with annoyance.

Having had enough, he pushed himself into the wall backwards and slide down with Nesta still in his arms.

"What are you doing! Let me go!" She shouted in a fury.

"Not a chance." Grunted Cassian as he pulled her impossibly closer. He sat with knees bent and wide with Nesta wedged between them, legs stretched out and kicking the air. "I won't let you do this to yourself anymore because as much I hate to admit it, I care about you. I know you care about me too even though you treat me like dirt. You are treating yourself that way too, Nes."

She grunted and pulled hard against his arms. "Shut up!" She ordered through closed teeth.

"I've been where you're at. I know what this feels like. You think if you cut people out of your life and build up walls that you can run from your problems but you can't. It doesn't work."

Nesta slowed her fighting and breathed out in defeat.

"You need to let me in. I can help you if you let me. I...I love you Nesta. I always have. And it's tearing me apart seeing you destroy yourself."

Nesta went completely still and silence tore through the room. She slowly turned her head to meet his his sparkling brown eyes.

"What did you say?" She all but mouthed.

Cassian swallowed and loosened his grip. Her eyes still looked lost of all emotion but he lifted his chin and repeated himself. "I love you, Nesta Archeron." He claimed.

Nesta furrowed her brows and let out a broken, "How?" There was a gleam to her eyes and Cassian knew she was on the verge of breaking down. This was his chance. This was his chance to beakdown her walls completely.

"Because I admire your strength of will and the way you love your sister. I think you've never felt like you truly belong, and I can relate to that. I sometimes cover my insecurities with fighting, you do to, just not the physical kind. Nesta, you are going through what feels like the end. You think it's pointless to live, but it's not. You have a purpose in this world but you won't find it living like this. When I first laid eyes on you, it felt like waking up from a coma I didn't even know I was in. I'm telling you I love you and I need you in my life. Let me help you. I beg you, Nes."

A tear escaped Nesta's eye and she blinked it away immediately. But another fell. And another. Before she knew it she was sobbing in his arms uncontrollably. Cassian pulled her in to lay her head on his chest and held her like his life depended on it.

"It's okay." He promised.

"Cassian." She sobbed. "I can't stop." She gasped for air but all she got were more sobs. "I can't stop crying! I can't stop-"

"I'm here." He said, squeezing her tight. "I'm here Nesta. I'm not going anywhere. Just let go."

Nesta gave herself over to the pain she has tried so hard to escape. She cried for the death of her father. She cried for her human life that was ripped away. She cried for hurting everyone she loved. She cried for the love she denied herself with Cassian. And she cried for herself.

Cassian held her for hours, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and running his fingers through her hair. When her body finally ran out of tears to free and she eventually went silent, Cassian told her stories about his life. It seemed to calm Nesta until her eyes drooped and she fell asleep in his arms.

Very carefully, Cassian scooped her up and took her to his bed. There was no way he was letting her sleep alone tonight. He laid her down on his cotton sheets and pulled a blanket over her fragile body. Cassian quietly got in the bed and snuggled up next to her, making sure he didn't wake her up.

He had poured his soul out to Nesta tonight and she let a small part of him in. Cassian knew she wouldn't be miraculously healed when morning came, but she would wake up with someone by her side, ready to help her find herself again. It would take time, but Cassian would wait an eternity and more for his mate.