Deconstructing Bridges

Chapter Six

"Feel up for a coffee walk?"

Hayley glanced over her shoulder in surprise at hearing the familiar low voice behind her. She had only just arrived back in the office to complete paperwork, still filled with anxiety regarding how to best broach the subject with Matthew, yet here he was, beating her to the punch.

With an apprehensive smile, she inclined her head in the affirmative.

"That sounds great."

Unlike her, he was not smiling. In fact, his face was almost blank, practically impossible to read. It doesn't mean something bad, she told herself. It was the trademark of a detective, that impassivity. They needed a good poker face, it was practically a job requirement.

He waited as she yanked her hat back on top of her head, then gestured for her to lead the way. She was startled by just how weary he seemed, and she wanted to get him to open up to her about it, but she knew he had to be the one to speak first. gestured for her to walk ahead of him. As per usual, they headed over to the pie shop across the road, though this time when they got there, Matthew ordered their coffees to have in, before ushering her over to a small table at the back wall.

For a few minutes, while they waited for the drinks to arrive at the table, all was mundane conversation. Hayley inanely chattered on about the quiche served at the shop, how she'd never actually sat here to eat or drink, and Matthew remained in stony silence, his hands practically white as he clenched them together.

Stop talking, she wanted to chastise herself, and yet the idea of sitting in awkward silence waiting for him to open his mouth was almost more painful than her making a fool of herself by continuing to blabber. Finally their coffees were placed on their table with a 'clink' and once they were alone again, he cleared his throat.

"Hayley..."

"I'm sorry about the kiss."

Her blurt took them both by surprise.

He was quick to interrupt in denial.

"We didn't kiss."

"Because you pulled away."

She could feel herself blushing as she awaited his response to that. Yes, it was only because he had pulled away. She would not have hesitated otherwise.

"Hayley... I like you. I do. I didn't realise how much you've helped in the last few weeks, but you have. Honestly, you've been exactly what I needed, and I..."

He trailed off, tapping his thumb against the edge of the saucer.

"You don't want me like this, McKinney. On the heels of... I'm no good to anybody."

She stared down at her latte, swirling the spoon across the top of the foam to mar the milky tree-like formation adorning the surface,

"Hayley," he persisted and finally she looked up, her red cheeks darkening further as she waited for him to continue.

"I may have made you think I was- God, I don't know. Perhaps I wanted the attention. But I can't..."

She took a sip from the glass before again using the spoon to scoop some foam into her mouth. Keep your mouth busy so you don't say something stupid. Or, heaven forbid, so you don't try to kiss the man again.

"Hayley, tell me the truth. Was it just a spur of the moment thing? Was it an accident?"

A part of her wanted to agree. She didn't want to admit it out loud, the thought alone caused her stomach to clench.