A Loner's Journey Through Lemonade Making

Chapter 43|

Fallouts were normal in friendships.

That was why I did not think the number of ours over the years meant something bad. Being together in class, the room, the ref...there wasn't much we could do to avoid each other, so we had to settle things.

Except these settlements never came with apologies.

Nina never apologized for laughing when Ibidun shared struggles with her weight.

Ibidun never apologized for saying that being friends with all of them was my entire personality.

I never apologized for telling Muna to stay out of my business because her privileged self would never understand how painful it was to walk in my shoes.

Munachi never apologized for calling Kari a slut.

Kari never apologized for saying that the person who would eventually move to Munachi would do so out of pity.

We never apologized; we just moved on as if these things hadn't been said. And we held grudges, all of us, and waited for an opportunity to bring them up.

It was like holding torn fabric together with a safety pin but never actually stitching it. And now, the fabric had torn in such a way that if it was eventually stitched, it would be too ugly to wear.

Perhaps it was time to throw it away.

☆

Our friendship was not just about the five of us. We were ten.

Out group was made up of ten people, with two friendship groups: the boys + Leilah, then the girls and I. There were smaller groups within the main one, like Kari and I, JJ and BJ, Kari, JJ, BJ and I. There were people who belonged to other friendship groups, like Leilah and Maro. There were people who did not, like me.

It was during the holiday that I realized that these people were not exactly my friends. Except JJ and Kari, I really did not talk to the others. When our groups merged, we all became friends, although we were closer to some than others. His friends were also mine, but at the same time, they were only his. I stuck with the girls out of fear of not being able to make other friends.

And that fear, I would overcome.

I decided to branch out, to leave the nest.

I decided to make new friends.

☆

Unsurprisingly, I was the first to arrive.

I enjoyed the stillness in the room for an hour, until IB came. Out of all of them, she was the one I had the biggest beef with. It wasn't that it was untrue--it was that it was hurtful. Yes, I knew and had accepted that being their friend was all there was to me, but did she actually have to say it?

I got up from my bed the moment she entered and left.

I did not know how I would survive the next three months in that room. I decided I would try to be out as much as possible, only staying when I needed to sleep.
Thankfully, at the meeting with Mr Obadina later in the afternoon, he announced that we would have extra classes from 4pm-7pm during the week, and during the weekends, after vocational classes and religious activities, no student was to be found in their dorms unless it was siesta or night.

Ordinarily, I would have kicked against it. But now, I welcomed it with open arms. I envisioned tiredness, but I'd rather that than awkwardness.

Sighing, I brought my phone out of my pocket. Kari had sent another message: the driver was entering school! I hurried to the car park where cars were driving in and out. Barely five minutes later, the tinted window of one of the arriving cars was rolled down and Kari yelled, "Yewande!"