On your own (Catradora)

Is this paradice?

It had been a rough landing. After spending nearly 3 weeks in the sky's above Etheria when something went wrong. As she was dozing off from sleep exhaustion the ships systems went haywire. Lights flashed and all sorts of alarms went off in Catras large sensitive ears but instead of panic the feline simply held onto the steering control and braced herself for the worst like a captain she was prepared to go down with her ship. Two hours after the crash the feline awoke. "Hisss. F-fuck.." Catra hissed in pain as she sat up. Holding her head where a piece of shrapnel had struck her. She was littered in cuts bruises and scrapes. "Well this is just great.. why couldn't I just die in the crash.." she muttered sitting on the floor of the ship. Glancing around the feline saw that the ship had actually held up well, the lights still flickered and loose wires sparkled, Afew broken windows that didn't show much of the outside as it was a wall of rock and rubble where the windows once were but Any windows not affected showed only darkness with strange specks of bright light and large pieces of metal paneling dislodge from their place. It wouldn't go into space again but in time she figured she would be able to get it up and running again. But she had to figure out where on Etheria she was and why exactly the ship malfunctioned in the first place. In her weeks in the sky the ship was functioning perfectly without falter or even a tremor of turbulence. But for some reason upon passing a certain zone the systems began to malfunction. The feline reasoned that she must've passed over a black out zone where no electronics worked. Seeing that the entire ship was technology it only stands to reason that the black zone had caused the malfunction which caused the ship to crash. Slowly Catra made it to her feet, going to the on ship emergency kit finding some bandages, needles with stitching string and antiseptic to clean her wounds. Slumping back down onto the floor the feline began tending to her wounds. Pulling pieces of glass and metal from her body. Mainly her forehead, right thigh and afew pieces in her torso. "Grrr. Why.. why couldn't it just kill me!" Catra growled staring at the final piece of glass she had just pulled from her own chest and thrown it across the room to the wall where it shattered into more pieces. Huffing angrily, Catra stopped the bleeding and patched her final wound. She questioned why she was even helping herself but then again her instincts to survive were active. As much as she'd like to just ignore them and allow herself to bleed out but that thought wasn't as pleasant as just giving herself up and allowing someone else like Queen Glimmer to simply put her out of her misery. A sigh left broken lips as blue and yellow eyes stared down at her own blood stained self. "Maybe I deserve this.." she whispered. Her eyes began to burn as tears swelled in her duel colored eyes, falling down her cheek as she sat there alone on the floor of the crashed ship. This was the first time she had ever been truly alone to face herself. There were no soldiers bustling around carrying out orders. The ship was vacant except for one lost soul.

8 hours later—
A small beam of light peered in from a hole in the ship casting its glow over the sleeping features of the feline who had fallen victim to the weeks of restless sleep exhaustion that had finally caught up to her in her most vulnerable state. A grumble of discontent left catras lips as she tried to move away from the evil ray of light. Slowly she peeled her eyes open rubbing them of any signs of sleep before peering up at the ray of light. Then suddenly she heard a growl echo in the vacant hall way. Her ears twitched as she pushed herself off of the wall and looked around for the source of the noise but then she realized that the growl was coming from her stomach. Taking a deep breath Catra calmed herself. She now remembered that she had eaten almost all of the rations that were on board the ship so she would have to find a new source of food as well as water. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was until now "That's enough beauty sleep.. it's time to find out where I am." With that said Catra got back to her feet but due to her weakened state she had to support herself against the cold metal walls of the ship as she made her way to the door of the ship and pulled the lever. The large door steamed and cranked as it opened into a ramp leading to the ground below the ship. As the door opened Catra had to shield her eyes from the blinding light that was shining outside. Blinking as her eyes adjusted, Catra lowered her arm and gave her surrounding a look around And what she saw made her eyes widen. This place wasn't like anything she had ever seen in her life. Knowing her luck Catra had almost expected to land in some barren waste land like the Crimson waste or even Beast island. But as she emerged from the large ship wreck the feline was faced with a rather beautiful sight. The after noon sun was shining brightly over Large Rocky Mountains with waterfalls spouting from its slopes lined the valley where the ship crashed. "What is this place?..." she asked no one in particular as there was no one around. As she descended the ramp Catra noticed that the bottom of the ramp didn't actually reach the ground below. Instead it hung there a few feet above the slope of the mountain that the ship had crashed into. But luckily there was a tree that had been snapped in half that would help as a secondary ramp into and out of the ship. Taking it slow Catra jumped onto the trunk of the fallen tree but almost fell as her foot slipped and scratched the bark of the tree. A high pitched yell left Catra's lips as she tried to regain her balance and scampered down the tree and onto the ground below. Running behind another near by tree Catra glanced around seeing that there was no one around. Only trees, bushes and patches of grass growing all around the valley. Then she spotted the glorious sight of a glistening stream of water only a few hundred yards away. Giving her surroundings another look around, the feline deemed it safe and began heading towards the stream but the walk took longer than she had hoped. Her injuries slowing her down a bit as each step caused her much pain and discomfort. She fell afew times but eventually she arrived, kneeling down on the bank of the stream and staring down at the flowing water. It looked so inviting but the reflection that stared at her was less than pleasant. Catra saw herself battered and worn. Dark circles under her eyes and multiple scratches adorned her face. Closing her eyes Catra dipped her hands into the water making her hands into a cup and pulled out a hand full of water before raising it to her lips and taking a sip. The cold water felt good against her lips as she took another sip. Once her thirst was quenched Catra began washing the blood off of her arms and hands, shuttering slightly at the cold water cleansing her skin. In the Horde the water was often cold and smelled rancid but this water was almost too good to be true. She pondered the thought that she might've actually died and gone to heaven but then again if she had died she knew all to well that her soul would most likely to go hell. Looking around Catra stood up and slowly began to take her arm sleeve off hissing as she raised it above her head then tossed it to the ground. Looking down at her arm Catra narrowed her eyes seeing the darkness that was slowly growing on her right arm. When Catra fell into the Portal that darkness attached its self to her entire right side but when the Portal was destroyed the darkness went away. Or so she thought. Each day the darkness grew more and more seeming to spread faster when she was angered. She never told anyone about the strange warped voice she would often hear in the back of her mind. She did good at ignoring it by busying herself when she was in the Horde but now she was alone with no one to talk to. Now she had no choice but to listen to it. "You can't ignore me forever kitten. We've got much to talk about. All your failures. Your so called friends left you. But you were a terrible friend so I can't blame them" the warped voice whispered to the feline who only covered her ears and growled. "Shut up.. I already know this. I'm a terrible person. I know this. So Shut up!" The feline shouts only to be greeted by menacing warped laughter. As the laughter faded, Catra looks down at the water where for a moment she could've sworn she saw the warped figure of herself and yelped jumping back away from the water. Trying to catch her breath, the feline slowly went back to the waters edge and looked down at the clear water sighing as she saw herself with No black mass taking over her features. But she did see something else in the water past her reflection. Raising a brow Catra leaned closer her eyes seeming to be more focused on this small moving object. Her tail twitching from side to side as she rolled her shoulders then as quick as a flash she pounced her arms forward into the water creating a splash as she snatched the moving thing right out of the water. "Ah ha!" A small smirk appeared on her lips as she lifts her catch up. In that moment she was almost proud of her cat like instincts. Looking at her catch Catra noticed that It was a small orange fish. Nothing too impressive but the feline was satisfied with her first catch. Now all she had to do was cook it.. but again her stomach growled begging for nutrients. "Go on. Eat it. You're too weak to make a fire. You're lucky to have even caught that. By the time you get the fire going the fish will be spoiled" the voice spoke again but this time sounding somewhat different.. almost angelic yet still warped and staticky as it spoke. it's words actually useful this time and encouraging. Catra looks to the fish in her hand and grimaced as it flopped around in her grip "This is so gross.." but she knew that the voice was right. She needed the substance immediately, Especially with all the blood she had lost. After a moment of stalling Catra finally did what she had to do. She took the fishes head in her hand and quickly snapped it off so she wouldn't be eating a live fish. Swallowing a lump in her throat Catra closed her eyes and put the fish in her mouth, Swallowing it whole. Her skin crawled as she felt it slide down her throat and at the taste of raw fish. It honestly wasn't that bad but her stomach wasn't satisfied, She would need more to regain her strength and survive. Looking down at the fish head in her hand Catra narrowed her eyes and threw it to the other side of the stream. "This is stupid!" She shouts "what's the point in staying alive. No one needs or wants me around.. I can't starve myself. That'll be too slow.. why couldn't I have just died in the crash. Why did Queen glitter have to take pitty on me!.. why am I even trying to stay alive. I have no one to live for.." the feline felt tears streaming down her cheek and a stinging pain in her right arm from the dark smudge that was growing on her skin. "And now I have to live with this.. just like Adora said. Live with it.. this really is my punishment isn't it" she says beginning to chuckle. Then laugh almost uncontrollably as tears still fell from her face. "This is my life sentence... haha. Get it. Because my entire life has been a miserable hell hole!!" The feline fell to her knees looking down at her reflection. Watching as tears fell from her face and into the water. Her hands gripping at the mixture of sand, dirt and small rocks. "It's just my life.. I've got to live with it.. no matter how miserable it is. At least it's mine.." she sniffled. As the last of her tears fell, Catra stood up and looked up at the sun beating down on her. It was growing rather hot and the water flowing infront of her looked more and more inviting as she stood there in the sun. Biting her lip Catra grabbed the brim of her shirt and slowly pulled the material over her head being careful of her wounds before tossing it with her single sleeve. The then took off her belt and slipped her pants off sending them to join the rest of her clothing items on the ground. Taking a breath Catra dipped her foot into the water the cold felt amazing on her skin as she walked further into the water until she was in up to her hips. A soft sigh escaped her as she let herself sink into the crystal clear water that only changed color for a short moment as it washed away a mixture of dust and dried blood from the felines body. The rest of the afternoon Catra spent in the water catching minnows, washing her blood stained clothes and lazing about in the water as it felt good on her aching body. For a short while Catra was actually able to relax and give her body the attention it needed by providing it with food, water and a much needed soak. But all good things had to end some time. As Catra got out of the water she noticed that the sun was beginning to go down, setting beyond the valley. After drying herself off and redressing herself in her surprisingly warm sun dried clothes, Catra began making her way back to the ship which was quite literally an up hill battle. But this time the walk wasn't as bad thanks to the soothing water, she was actually in less pain than she was on the way down the hill. Carefully climbing up the fallen tree, Catra jumped onto the ramp of the ship and turned around to see the beautiful colors of the setting sun and.. stars? How had she not noticed them before or were they even there before. Either way the sparkling dots in the sky were rather beautiful against the evening colors. "I wonder if you can see them.." she whispers to herself. Before going inside the ship closing the door for the night.