The Great Sacrifice

Chapter Nine

"You did a good job with the girls" he said, calmly. His deep voice putting a shiver in my spin, "The lights". "I'm surprise" he said, going into the wash room. "Why is that?" I asked following him in to the lit area. "I expected you to quit, but you are to stubborn" he said washing his hand. I watched him in the mirror taking him in. "Well" was all I said. "Daphne is quite fond of you" he said. "We have alot in common" I leaned on the door post sighing. He meet my eyes in the mirror and I looked away, "Yes, I've noticed".
Turning off the water he turned towards me, leaning on the sink with folded arms, we stood silent looking at one another.
"How long do you plan to stand in the way of your father's marriage?" He asked. I swallowed, "Forever". "You will come to terms sooner or later, or your father will make the choice for you" he said. "He already has" I stood my fist tighting at my side. "No, your still very young. Your father sees you as a little girl, not a grown woman. You can only be enough for so long, he is a man, Lakelynn" my name vibrated out his mouth tickling my ears, but his word stabbed. "Daphne?" I asked. "There will come a time her childish tactics are no longer cute. However, I have never had a lover in the media or around her, my child is to precious and I am far to smart to allow the media that kind of information" he said with a chuckle. "But all those woman-" he cut in. "Prospectus yes, but none of my choosing. I must admit I am a well sought after man". I only nodded, Daphne only kept woman, he wanted at a distance, at a distance. "Are you going to do some kind of check up?" I asked trying to mive forward. "We both know you are fine" he said nonchalantly. I nodded again, folding my hands, "Thank you again, Dr. Avella". I started to walk away, but my feet stopped, i bit my lip, I wanted to know, turning on my toes only to notice he had taken my spot on the door post to watch me leave. "Vivienne?" A smirk pulled onto his lips, "She's not my type". Curiosity pocked at me, she was gorgeous, "Why not?" "I'm not attracted to bodies, I require more from my lovers then mindless sex" my face blushed red. "Intimacy is deeper. la vera intimità è un'esperienza sacra. Non rivela mai la sua fiducia segreta e l'appartenenza all'occhio voyeuristico di una cultura al neon. La vera intimità è dell'anima e l'anima è riservata" he said. "I've never heard that one" I said. He raised an eyebrow, I had caught him off guard I realized, "Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved' I repeated. "You speak Italian" he commented unsurprised. "French, Spanish, and Tagalog. I can sign to" I said. He face changes he was impressed, "Why do I always see you better in the dark?" I tilted my not understanding.
    "You value my daughter alot don't you?" He asked. I nod, smiling, "She's darling and a beautiful dancer, better than I was at her age". "Her mother was graceful guess its genetic" he said. I only smiled at the comment because I knew that was not the case, "We should get back to her. I don't want to keep my father waiting" I said. "My hospital is having a meet and greet of sorts everyone has been asked to bring someone for the children" he said. "I would have to see I am supposed to return to practice soon" I said. "Well you wouldn't be dancing. Just spending time with a few kids" he said. "I suppose" I nodded. I walked out the room feeling like something had just happened but I wasn't sure what.
        It was a Friday Afternoon, and more snow, landing softly in my hair as I walked into the hospital. It was a pretty well known hospital, mostly upscale, but as all hospitals it had an ER. I spent a few soccer accidents here.
    I dressed in a simple white dress with six silver buttons in the front my hair was folded on my head, and was clipped with a silver clip. I look more like an angel I realized, and only hesitated for a moment. "Lakelynn?" Said a coll voice. I turned startled, I was picked out in the lobby so easy. "Yes" I smiled. "Just the lady I was looking for, seems doctor Avella won't be making it today. Open heart surgery comes up so often" he said casually, with a little snicker. "Doctor humor" he added. I only smiled. I followed I didn't want to see him I told myself hoping not to feel disappointment. The children didn't seem too impress with me except a few select children, and even them it was short lived as there was many a celebrity there. We took a few photos and did a few activities, but it was short and nothing to exhausting.
     I was just about to leave when, a small hand grabbed mine, I turned to look. I swallowed hard, "yes?" I asked. "One day" she inhaled hard and slow. "When I'm,  better" she licked her lip. "I'm going, to dance, on stage, with, with my sister" I crouched down. "Yes, you will" I touched her cheek, it was frozen, like glass. "Why don't I take you back to your room?" She only nodded relaxing in her seat. I wheeled her to the elevator making small talk. It wasn't until I was back in to the room that I realized she was missing.
     "Amelia" her mother breathed wrapping her arms around the girl. "Mrs. Maxtin" I said. She looked at me her right eye twitched, but she went back to cradling her oldest. Once Amelia was safely in bed she came out to me, glaring. "Do you think what you did was appropriate?" "Yes, and I think it gave Amelia something more to fight for. Your daughter not having hair wont change anything except she needs a cap in winter, which Amelia has plenty I'm sure she'd share with her sister" I said standing my ground. "You" she hissed. "You think this is easy?" I shook my head, "I could never do what you are doing here, Mrs. Maxtin. I won't pretend to understand, but Amy wanted her sister to see and she did. She did so much so she found the strength to get to the lobby and tell me she would" her mother let out two tears. Whipping them, she turned her back to me, "Amelia did enjoy the show last night and for that I thank you, but what you did to my Amy. I can't forgive. You don't take from one child to give to the other". "I feel the exact same way. Have a good day" I walked away.
          The next day there was three articles about me and only one front page, My appearance at the charity Gala with the girls performance, my appearance at East Wells Hospital, and my pending affair with Dr. Avella. My father didn't question me  on it or hadn't seen it by the time noon as I was going put for brunch with a few dancers I knew. I was about to walk out the door when it opened and slammed, our door rarely ever slammed my father had to have a vicious day to slam the door. I was sliding on my last earring and started down the stairs, "Dad, I'm off to brunch with the girls". He came out his study red face, "Lakelynn, tell me something". "Sure" I said on the last step. "What is it about the future you fear the most?" He asked. I stepped back uncertain of his word or my answer. I gave a humours laugh, "why do you ask?" "I want to know. Your an adult you have a fantastic career, soon you will want to move out, but what kind of fear have you ever had? As a child I was in constant fear,  it made me strong, resilient, and determined" he said shoving his hands deep in his pockets. "Are you calling me weak?" I asked unsure if I was insulted yet. "I'm calling you dependent and so I want to be sure we raised you well" he asked. "So you want to know my fear" I asked. He huffed, "I do". "Why? What will you do with it?" I asked. He was silent, "Why don't you think about it. Have a good brunch". The kiss he placed on my cheek was cold and off putting, he was back in his office as if he never left.
      "Mommy, why does daddy do that?" I asked climbing in her lap she smiled kissing my nose. "Daddy, is afraid he won't be able to do a good job of protecting us" she said straightening my dress. "Why?" "Because fear is a human emotion everyone must feel" "why?" "Well, because he's seen the other side of this life" putting me on the floor she stood, "Why don't we go draw and let dad deal with it?". "With his fear?" I asked.  She nodded holding out a slender hand. "You will always be there when I'm afraid?" I asked taking my hand. She only smiled, she was so beautiful so gorgeous.
      "Fantastic!" Cried Mr. Francesca. "So raw, so vulnerable, so perfect-" he cut hisself off. He was silent then turned to his new assistant Madison, "What was it missing? Oh yes, it was as if it wasn't from this Ballerina. Like not the broken Ballerina I want, the Ballerina I'm looking for is not so alive the could have so much energy, they are dancing to their own fear of stopping" I was silent, only my breathing was audible. "This scene again same emotion, but dig deeper to your belly. For something not you the ugly monster that lives inside you" he said. Ugly monster? In me? There was a ugly monster in me?