The Last Cut (Remake) /under construction//

Chapter 17

Cassie's point of view

 I feel like shit. Actually, scratch that. Shit didn't describe the way I felt. I felt like someone poured a gallon of acetic acid down my throat and forced me to keep it down. I feel like Alex ripped out a piece of me when he left to go wherever he goes to, leaving me broken, empty, and in pieces that I just can't seem to fix all alone. When I'm okay, not needing his attention, he's always there - but when I'm loosing my mind and trying to keep myself together, he disappears.

Girls like me are just not supposed to fall for people like him. Someone so incredibly stupid and blind to begin with in the first place.

"Okay we're gonna have to ask you to swallow these two little pills and get some rest okay?"  I hated the pills. They made me feel weak and vulnerable; as if I was in some kind of coma. I start off feeling dizzy and light-headed and then I wake up with a huge headache and aching muscles.

"Yeah okay," I reply back sarcastically before plopping the pills into my mouth. I hid them at the roof of my mouth and waited patiently as she checked under my tongue.

"Good girl. Now Cassie, you've got to promise you won't leave."

Promise you won't leave.

"No Cassie you can't leave...like...like dad did. Please," he begged tears rolling furiously down the side of his cheek. I shook my head and tried desperately to move away. He's asleep, I repeated to myself over and over again. He doesn't feel this way about you - he's just dreaming. 

 "Alex, you're dreaming. You don't really feel this way about me. You--"  I stopped to take a breath, "You love Alice."

"No!" he whispered, his eyes still sealed shut. He hovered over me, pressing his warm lips against my neck. "It's real."  

I gasped and broke my hands free, pressing my hands firmly against his chest, and giving him a harsh shove, "Alex stop."  He ignored me, trailing kissed down my neck and to my shoulder, rolling his body slowly against mine.

"Tell me if this is real enough for you. Tell me....tell me you don't feel this." And then, he kisses me.

"Uhh, Cassie?" the nurse waved her hands furiously in front of my face. I blinked and pushed the thoughts away.

"What?"

"Promise you won't leave the perimeter be-

I cut her off, "Yeah, right okay."

And then she's gone. 

*

"If you find a man that's worth a damn that treats you well...Then he's a fool and you're just as well hope it gives you hell. When you walk my way hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell," I sang horribly, trying to pour my feeling about Alex into my poor hair brush. I mean, it kind of looks like a microphone.

"Who needs boys?" I asked myself as I got dressed, "They're all bunch of stupid know it all wannabe-

I was interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. 

"Come back later, I'm recording an album!" I yelled from the bedroom, trying to fit into my skinny jeans. The knocking continued on anyways, and I rolled my eyes. I placed a tank top over my sports bra, and grabbed my grey hoodie.

I reached for the knob as I brushed my hair, "Whoever you are, you can't just barge in here when-

I stopped in mid-sentence when I looked up. Alex. Of course it's fucking Alex. Comes when he wants, and then just leaves just like that! I quickly put on a scowl to cover up my excitement and yawned as If I was bored.

"What do you want?"

"Uh," he bites his lip and shakes nervously, "I...wanted to talk."

That adorable little fucker.

"About what exactly?" I crossed my arms. 

He takes in a deep breath and looks up.

"Alice is pregnant."

I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe and I feel like I've been lit on fire. Pregnant. As in they had sex. She had sex with Alex. Alex knocked her up. Alex was having sex with another girl while I cried about him, eating ice cream and finishing the series of Carrie Diaries. 

Wow.

"So that's where you've been heading off too? Helping out the mother of your child?" I spit out harshly, my heart pounding in my chest in range. He flinches and shakes his head quickly, "Cassie it's not like that. It's not mine. I mean, I thought it was but it isn't!"

Phew.

"But you guys had sex."

His cheeks flush into a pink color before he looks down again, "...yeah."

"That's a comforting image."

He laughs awkwardly and nods, "But she hasn't been with anyone else or anything like that..."

I sigh in frustration and resist the urge to kick him in the balls, "Who's the father, Alex?"

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "You've got to understand that it's very complicated right now okay?"

"Then uncomplicate it."

He looks at me for the first time today. Really looks at me. I can't read him anymore. I used to know what he was going to say before he says it. What emotions he was actually feeling before he lied about them. I used to know everything about him, but right now I feel like I'm looking into the eyes of a stranger. A liar. 

The stare is broken away when his phone rings, loud and happy music ruining the intense situation, and then he's talking on the phone. 

It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's Alice.

That bitch. 

"Yeah, I know. Got it, I'm literally on my way," he mumbled something lowly and then hangs up the phone. I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired of him leaving and coming back, and leaving and coming back. It's making my head spin, and everything in my life become more complicated. I can't take it anymore.

"I've gotta-

"Go," I finish his sentence, "I know. You''ve always got to go."

He laughs harshly and slam his hands firmly against the motorcycle, knocking it down. "God, Cassie what the fuck do you want from me?"

"Nothing. Just next time....don't come back."