In the mind of a girl (Diary) #Wattys2016

Red flag to Green

Growing up, dating, relationships and some eye opening books have really help me come to terms with what I want from a potential partner now...
This is inspired by Holly Bournes - The places I've cried in public.

You learn from all the negatives until they become positives.

Games are such a red flag. Are we, Aren't we. He's hot, he's cold. He cares, he doesn't. He texts you immediately, he reads the message and never responds. Enough! I'm over it! You should be too. This yo-yo effect just mentally drains you.
Find a partner that tells you straight up how they feel. What they want. Shows you how much you mean to them. Communication. This trope from every movie ever needs to end.

Romance. Being a helpless romantic and sweeping your partner of their feet doesn't make you weak or less manly. Makes you more of a man for taking the time. We all deserve those BIG romantic gestures in life. The bad boy 'play it cool' bullshit is old.

Maturity. I'm 22 and really not interested in the drinking and partying thing. I'm an adult with a future and a life to build. So, to me, if you don't have the intention of having a future with me. House, marriage, kids, whatever. Don't waste my time.

Tell them how you feel! Bad boy thing again doesn't work. Don't sit and wait, hoping they'll confess everything first. Because we're probably going to get blown off by your super cool demeanour. Bleh! Tell them everything! Before they find someone else and forget you exist. This is not a romance novel.

Writing poetry, letters, songs, hell even a sticky note are super beautiful and romantic. Give them the notes. Read them the letters. Play them the songs. Tell them everything! You won't regret it.

Nice guys don't finish last!

I personally want a guy I can grow with. Who knows what they want career wise. Support one another. Build with one another until your rich and drinking wine at the top of a skyscraper fifty shades style ;)

Trust and loyalty. You should be able to tell your partner your deepest, darkest fears and secrets. And if they use that against you or tell other people, that's not your partner. That's an asshole that you don't need in your life.
People make mistakes. We're human. But if they are sabotaging themselves, you can't have them bring you down too.

My deal breakers are drugs (not cannabis) and alcohol in high amounts. The party life style. I don't need nor want that shit anywhere near me.

You should be able to have different opinions right? Duh. That's a healthy relationship. Anyone that makes you feel otherwise is a massive RED FLAG!

Looks fade. The perfect body, face, hair, muscles. It all goes. What stays is the soul and personality. Stick around for that. Anyone that wants you just for surface level is a tool. End of debate.

Tip: Look at the way a man treats his mother. That's a tell on how he'll treat you. If he treats her like a queen, respects her. Openly adores and loves her. He's a keeper. If he disrespects her, disregards her and treats her like trash, how will he treat you? She gave birth to him, raised him and loves him. She's the first woman in his life. That's everything.

Also, for me family is SUPER important. I don't want a guy who wants to ignore and leave his family behind. I want a family man.

Last one! This is a big one!
If a guy knows your suffering, in pain, hurt, crying, in hospital. Or he's caused any of that (God forbid) and he's ok ignoring you or not talking to you...Get them out of your life! No one who cares for someone would ever be ok with that. No matter what.

I have a big heart; according to my friends and family. Something that tends to shoot me in the foot is how much I care. I wish I could flip a switch and turn it off, but that would deny my superpower. Who I am. If your in my life, I'm fiercely loyal. I care deeply about everything about you. Most definitely that's not always returned. One sided at times, which is just life! Can't help that. Not mad about that. Thus is life! Won't stop me being who I am.
But I need someone like that with me. Fearless about saying and showing how much they care. I don't want to be the only one anymore.
I don't want to be the only one asking...
How was your day?
Are you alright?
Talk to me about it?
Or even texting me first! I don't want to keep putting my all into someone that's not giving me the same back. Can get tedious and draining. I don't want to harden my heart anymore. I need a lion heart.

There you go! Hopefully your red flags have now turned green!