The Arcana - Muriel Fanfics!

IX - The Hermit

*this one's so soft I nearlyyy criedddddddddddddd  :'D

Fragrant scents of pine and jasmine waft over me, eyes closed. I take a sip, and the warmth spreads over my tongue.

Opening my eyes, Asra's serene eyes watch Muriel and I eagerly. Muriel lowers the brew from his lips, savouring the taste. Soft light filters through the windows, illuminating the swirls of steam. 

"...It's good," Muriel says slowly, taking another shy sip. I nod I agreeance and short, unfamiliar curls bob around my ears. The absence of knots is still taking time to get used to, but I really don't miss having to tug my hair out from under Muriel in the morning. 

"Definitely a best-seller in the making," I say thoughtfully, swirling the gold liquid absently. "It could use some elderflower?" 

"Ah, that's what it's missing," Asra says, leaning back on his cushion. "You know, I miss having you around the shop, Val," he says. He flicks his wrist, sending a spark flying into the kettle. Almost immediately it starts to whistle, ready to pour fresh tea. 

Muriel quirks his eyebrows at Asra, question in his eyes. Asra grins, shaking his pearly curls and holding up his hands.

"No, not like that, Muri. She's all yours," he adds. Muriel splutters halfway through a sip of tea. 

"W-what? She...she's not...mine...she's...she's a free person," Muriel bumbles, flustered pink painting his eyes. Asra and I exchange a look...

...before bursting into laughter. Muriel looks from me to Asra exasperatedly, looking as though he'd like very much to drown himself in tea. 

Chuckling softly, I take his warm hand in my own. Leaning into his shoulder, I press a soft kiss to his cheek. "I don't mind being yours, love," I whisper. "It sounds good." 

Muriel hesitates, eyeing Asra suspiciously, before pulling me into him. He rests his chin on my head, my shorts curls falling into my eyes. Asra's grinning at us like an idiot, eyes twinkling. 

"Yes...it does sound good, doesn't it?" He says, an innocent smile and a strange tone in his voice. Muriel clears his throat. I narrow my gaze at Asra, wishing I could see through his dreamy mask. 

"...Anyways," Muriel says, somewhat quickly, encircled arms tightening. Asra sips his tea, the twinkle never leaving his eyes. I tilt my head curiously, wondering why they're acting so strange? 

"Oh!" Asra jumps, eyes suddenly wide. "Valeera, I forgot to ask," he lowers his tea, leaning forward. "How's the contraceptive I gave you going?" 

My stomach flip-flops like a fish out of water. I feel the colour both drain, then flood my face as my cheeks burn. I level Asra with a murderous gaze, and his mouth drops. Muriel wasn't supposed to know. 

It's too late. Muriel's chin lifts from my hair, and I feel the weight of his confusion. 

"...W-what...what contraceptive?" He asks, pulling away from me slightly. 

I twist around, wishing more than anything I could slip into the floorboards and out of existence. 

I breathe deeply, steadying myself. "It's nothing to worry about, love. I just thought...well, it's for the best." I hate myself for not telling him sooner, but I'd assumed he'd guessed it by now.

Muriel's green eyes search mine, but I'm not sure what he's looking for. I lay a hand gently on his forearm. 

Asra coughs from behind us, muttering something like 'leave you to it' before he slips from the room.

"Oh, Muriel. I just...I didn't think it'd be a problem," I say. He's not angry, but not quite apathetic. The look in his eyes is almost...disappointment? Sadness?  I frown, knowing that doesn't make sense. "I didn't think you'd be...we'd be...ready for children?" I ask incredulously, wondering if he'd actually been hoping...

Muriel's cheeks turn the colour of wine, and his gaze flicks to the floor. Gently, the tension from his shoulders melt. He sighs, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine. 

"...I...I don't know," he mumbles. I shriek inwardly, excitement exploding in my chest. "...I always knew...you were preventing it...somehow, but I just thought..." he trails off, breathing deeply. It takes a long while before he speaks again, soft and sad.

"...I thought you didn't think I'd be...that I'd be good enough. For a father, I mean."

He says it so nervously, so cautiously...the sudden excitement in my chest shatters. I reach to cup his cheek, pulling away so he's looking at me clearly. "No, no, oh, love. It's not that at all," I say, trying not to cry at the thought. Not good enough? "I didn't think you'd want them, is all." Muriel's eyes flutter shut at my touch, reaching for me like a drowning man reaching for the surface. 

"You'd make a great father," I whisper. "No, the best father." Muriel's eyes fly open, and he gives me a small, shaky smile. Taking my hand, he presses my fingers to his lips. "You'd make a strong mother," he says softly. I feel my heart imploding.

"...But only when you're ready," he finishes quietly, stooping to rest his head on my chest. 

Suddenly, something shatters in the back room. Muriel bolts upright, arm shooting out to protect me. We relax when Asra emerges from the back, healing small cuts in his hands. Strangely, he's smiling despite himself. 

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but..." he looks down at his hands guiltily, "I got a bit excited and dropped a teapot." 

Muriel huffs in amusement, settling back against my chest. 

I  raise my eyebrows as Asra shoots me a sly look. 

"Can I babysit?"

I feel Muriel smile against me, and I can't help but smile too.