The Arcana - Muriel Fanfics!

XI - Strength

I rub my eyes blearily, trying to peer through the darkness for the source of the commotion. The fire's burnt down to less than embers, and rain pounds against the roof of the hut. It's so loud, I nearly miss the soft whimpering beside me. 

Muriel's sleeping arms are wrapped around my waist, but something feels wrong. I remember falling asleep against the gentle fall and rise of Muriel's breathing. I frown. He shivers, arms tightening slightly. His brows knit together, and his breath comes fast, heavy. 

"...N...no..." Muriel murmurs, barely audible amidst the raging storm. 

I hear a soft huff as Inanna slides out of the dark, a lean, shaggy shadow. Her yellow eyes mirror the anxiety in my chest. 

The rain sounds like it's shrieking. Thunder rumbles and rolls outside. 

"...S..stop...n...not...not...her..." He moans. "...t...take...m-m-me...n...not....her..."

I squirm in discomfort as Muriel's gentle embrace borders on crushing me. My breath comes up short, and my ribs begin to ache with the pressure. He's trembling so badly, I can feel his reverberations through  my chest. 

I gasp and splutter, scrabbling against his hands to break free of his grip. Inanna jumps onto the furs, pawing and snuffling desperately at Muriel's face. I grit my teeth, my eyes clenched shut. It hurts, it hurts. 

Lightning explodes outside. Inanna howls. 

Muriel bolts upright. His arms yank out from around me. 

I wheeze, clutching my chest and heaving in lungfuls of sweet, sweet air. 

Beads of sweat drench Muriel's forehead. He pulls his knees to his chest, rocking slightly. Breathing heavy, wide eyes darting wildly around the dark room. 

Inanna bumps his elbow gently, before curling up next to him. 

There's a few moments of stunned silence, before his gaze falls to me.

The tension in his shoulders visibly melts in relief...

...until I cough. Once. Twice. Three times, with a wheeze. The look in Muriel's eyes when he realises what he'd done breaks my heart. Muriel begins reaching out for me, slowly and cautiously, before fear completely overtakes his features. 

I don't know what to do. We just stare at each other, the rain thundering against the hut. 

So I do the only thing I can do. 

I cross the furs and wrap my arms around Muriel's shoulders. He shudders, shrinking away from the touch. His voice is little more than a hoarse whisper.

"...I...I hurt you," he croaks. "I...I hurt you..." The dull embers reflect glistening tears in his eyes. I don't move, instead hugging tighter. 

"It's not your fault, Muriel," I whisper. I really do mean it. Muriel would never, never, hurt me. I run a hand gently down his shaking back, soothing some of the tremors. 

I feel the tear drops fall before I hear him.

Muriel's soft, shaky sobs wrack his whole body. I hold him tighter, wishing more than anything I could take away his pain. 

He sinks into my arms, somewhat hesitantly. We stay like that for long minutes, the storm never ceasing. I smooth back his hair, dry his cheeks when I can. "It was only a nightmare, love...just a bad dream," I whisper soothingly as I can. Muriel draws a long, shuddering breath.

"...I'm...I'm so s-sorry," he breathes, tears flooding his green eyes. "I'm...sorry, I...I hurt you...I would...I would never..." he trails off, watery eyes filled with remorse. 

I sigh, gently pulling the furs around Muriel, Inanna and I. Muriel sniffles. "It's ok, Muriel. You know you could never hurt me. It's not your fault."

Muriel nods, seemingly unconvinced. But I settle carefully back into the furs, drawing him down so his head rests on my chest. Muriel exhales deeply, listening to the steady beating of my heart. 

I run my fingers through his hair. "I love you," I whisper. 

Muriel takes another shaky breath. "....I love you, too."

Quietly, he echoes into the dark.

"...I promise. I...I won't ever hurt you."