the wish||stucky

4.1

2,329 words 

|the real world|

Steve's POV

The clock is about to hit 6 p.m when we finally begin to watch the first Captain America film, titled 'Captain America: The First Avenger'. Sebastian's impatiently tapping his foot upon the floor as we wait for Thor to return from the kitchen, so we can press play. I'm tired, the exhaustion from lack of sleep beginning to take quite the toll on my body. I sip on my coffee, shifting in my seat a little in attempt to get more comfortable. It doesn't work too well, so I settle for resting my head on Sebastian's shoulder instead, "Is there any way we can take a nap after this one? I'm bound to pass out soon anyway."

He pets my hair with his hand before yawning himself, "That's a great idea, Cap. Wanna take a nap with me?" He boldly suggests, smirking down at me as I gaze up at him through my lashes, "I'm much warmer than the bed in the guest room is."

"Will you behave?"

He nods solemnly, "You have my word." He places his hand to his chest right over his heart, smile turning warmer, "I just don't want to sleep alone."

"Me either." I frown. His eyebrows raise in question. "I have nightmares." I vaguely explain, grumbling a little to myself. I sit up a little straighter, finishing off my lukewarm coffee and then placing the empty mug on the coffee table next to Sebastian's phone. He's been getting endless alerts for the past few hours, but he hasn't checked it once, leaving it on silent. My curiosity grows with every new buzz and shake of the device, but it isn't my business, so I'm staying quiet.

He shifts in his seat, facing me more on the couch. His chestnut colored hair is curly now, due to his recent shower, the curls falling in his face as he stares innocently at me, blinking those lovely blue eyes of his, "What're your nightmares about? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

I fidget with my fingers as they rest on my blanket covered lap, avoiding meeting those curious blue eyes until the last second. I can faintly hear Thor messing around in the kitchen, the sound of the refrigerator closing filling my ears. My nightmares used to vary back in the day, change in subject and fear level. Since the war though, my dreams haven't switched up much at all. Each of them somehow involve the war days, the humiliation I felt when I used to perform those ridiculous Captain America skits on stage in front of dozens of soldiers, and the day I drove that aircraft into the ice. The day I was meant to die. The most often reoccurring nightmare I have happens to involve a train and the eerie sounds of my screaming mixing with Bucky's as I watched him fall. The day I thought he died.

Sebastian's staring at me with those big understanding blue eyes, giving me no choice but to tell him exactly what haunts me in my dreams. "Bucky's fall from the train happens to be my biggest nightmare trope. Even if I know damn well he's alright now, it doesn't seem to help."

He frowns, slowly nodding his head, "It probably doesn't help that you blame yourself for that whole mess either, does it?"

"I bet Bucky blames me too, even if he won't admit it to even himself. Because it is my fault, really. I should've jumped down after him."

He shakes his head, frown turning sadder somehow. I don't like seeing him look this sad, it isn't right. "You might not have survived the fall, even with the serum, Steve. He wouldn't have wanted that for you." He whispers, reaching out to touch my face, wanting to comfort me. I don't deserve it.