She can't see

Chapter 10

A/N I highly recommend listening to the song    ^    up there, because um wow it's perfect for this book. If you don't want to #1. lookup the lyrics #2. Or don't do anything, cuz I can't make you (your loss) AND YES, it is old Taylor Swift #MyChildhood.

Natsu's POV

 Lucy gave him a strange look after what he said, it was kind of uncomfortable. She looked a little happy,  in a strange unsettling way. Natsu felt he should leave, but Lucy stopped him again.          "This is a little off-topic, but what was it that happened in the woods two days ago?" Natsu went pale, once again nausea struck him in the throat. She already knew about the knife issue, not E.N.D. " I don't know," He was surprised at how convincing he sounded, somewhere in his life he had gotten good at lying.

A skill that he never wanted or needed, until now when basically his whole life was cloaked in lies. Lies, self-pity, power-lust, and now self-harm, Lucy had no clue how pathetic he really was. "You really didn't know? Because you looked like you knew exactly what was happening when you ran out of the guild, hiding your hands." Natsu gulped, no matter how good he was at lying Lucy was always observant. 

Natsu found relief in the fact that the last attack he had was in the forest, about two days ago. His urge to cut, or to reassure hadn't really gone away. He just felt more guilty because of it now, guilt is not all it takes to get out of... whatever this was. An addiction? He hated the word addiction, and even more so when applied to him.

 He was so lost in thought he had forgotten that Lucy was expectantly waiting for his excuse. He hadn't the slightest clue what to say, making up another lie would only do more harm. We needed to slowly unravel them, not add to the pile. He just stared up at her bluntly. " Well, if that's your way of saying I'm right. Then tell me what it was, I don't want to see it again but if I have too then I want to be at least prepared." She proclaimed loudly, not quite yelling. If he's going undo the lies, then he might as well start with the biggest knot.

"It was E.N.D," No going back now.

Lucy's POV

Lucy froze, a chill running up her spine paralyzing her body. " W-What... no that can't be?" She shivered as a cold fear of the past came back. Natsu's lip quivered as he looked away avoiding her gaze. Her focus wavered from the unpleasant feeling, and back to Natsu. How she felt about this no longer mattered to her as she thought about being in his boat.

Igneel's passing, E.N.D, this depression, so much he had to deal with in the span of 3 years, so many loads to carry with no help, no one even suspected he was struggling. Lucy often found herself crying at night, from what she thought was hard past. What were nights like for him? She'll never kick him out of her apartment again, she didn't want him to be alone anymore. Her grief disappeared, as she thought about how he had been coping until now.

He was so strong, she envied his ability to get through hard times the way he does. Now he needed someone's help, she wanted to be that somebody, it was the least she could do to repay him for all he's done.

 She must've made him uncomfortable; he was nervously looking around. "You're not scared now, right?"  He thought she was scared of E.N.D, which was most likely why he was so nervous. "Why on earth would I be scared of you?" She said as she rose from the kitchen floor, holding her hand out to Natsu. Lucy soon realized a mistake in her wording, she referred to E.N.D as Natsu, although it was quite confusing she knew they weren't quite the same.

"If you're not at least a little scared, you're gonna get hurt," Natsu stated, serious as the grave. It was unsettling how true it was, and how Natsu would know this better than any other. She shivered when he took her hand as she helped him up, her subconscious had pictured his hand as a claw. "I thought that I-" "That you rewrote the book?" Natsu interrupted. Lucy shakily nodded her head.

He looked down, "Something happened, it went wrong or something." Lucy gulped, as the guilt washed in. If I had done it right, Natsu would be fine. She was about to apologize, but Natsu knew what she was thinking. Right as she opened her mouth, Natsu covered it with his hand. "No! Don't say it, don't! Lucy, don't say it." Lucy flinched. Natsu slowly removed his hand, "But-" He hadn't even interrupted her, the look he gave was enough. "You disconnected me from the tie that Zeref made with our souls, I owe my life to you. So don't you dare apologize."

Lucy took a deep breath, her icy kitchen fit the mood. Tense. How in the world could he owe anything to me? Natsu sighed, "If you want the truth, I've been wanting to share it for a long time." A spark of happiness in her heart almost made her jump, she'd been waiting for the truth too. Lucy already told herself that no matter how much he tells her there will always be more untold. That didn't stop her from getting at least a little excited that he was finally comfortable talking to her about serious matters.

A/N Tell me if you liked the chapter, and well I just wanted to let you know that the truth that they're talking about happens before my next chapter takes place, therefore, I don't write that scene and honestly, I like it better that way. (And I hope you do too)