Carter.

10.

Grayson invited me to come over to his house after school to watch movies today. I don't work with mother so I said yes but I'm debating cancelling. I mean will his mom be there? I don't really think we're at the meeting your parents stage.

Plus last night, the man who umm paid for me? Was definitely a hitter so I'm bruised pretty bad. I didn't have the will this morning to check where the visible bruises are. I just slipped on black leggings and a plain white long sleeve shirt not wanting to know. But now I don't know where I need to make sure I hide. Like if my shirt rides up in the back will a bruise show? I wish I could just pinpoint the pain but honestly it hurts all over all the time so I don't know what hurts from a visible bruise and what hurts from a something not visual like a fractured rib.

I definitely keep Grayson's hoodie from our date last Wednesday and I have absolutely no plans of returning it. It's currently Tuesday afternoon and we just finished eating lunch together. He's been eating lunch with me everyday and we talk a lot more during the school day but we haven't been on another date or hung out outside of school. We haven't kissed since Wednesday and it's irritating me how much I want to again.

I just didn't know it could feel like that. All my times at Stanley's were so terrible that I figured that's just what kissing was like. But boy was I wrong. It only made it that much harder going to work this past Thursday-Monday nights. Grayson had asked to hang out during the day on Saturday or Sunday but I told him I had too much homework. I honestly was just hurting too much to act okay. The top of the creeps come out Friday-Sunday, so those days are normally extra hard.

I still can't believe that Grayson claims to like me, and says he has for a while. It seems impossible. The bell rings interrupting my thoughts as I pack up my stuff and head to my next class.

"Hey!" Grayson half-scares me while I'm at my locker.

"Hey." I give him a lazy smile trying to slow my heart beat. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to double check we're still hanging out after school. You seemed kind of on the fence about it at lunch." He says while leaning on the locker next to mine. It freaks me out how much he seems to read my mind.

"Umm yeah of course." I answer before I can chicken out.

"Great! We can just meet right here after school?"

"Yeah sure." I pause. "Will anyone else be at your house after school?" I ask the question that's been on my mind all day while closing my locker.

"Nope. My mom isn't back in town until Thursday afternoon. Is that okay?"

Normally I think I would freak out that we'd be in his house but alone but I know he's not going to force me to do anything I don't want. What a fun change of pace! That was some dark humor for ya... sorry... do other people not cope like that? My bad.

"Yeah, better than okay. I wasn't ready to meet your mom." I speak honestly before I can stop it.

Before he can respond the warning bell rings. That means we have 2 minutes to get to class before we're late.

"See you after class." I says as he nods a 'see ya!'

I take my seat in class and try to calm myself down. Now I'm much more worried that we're going to be alone at his house... fuckkkk me. He wouldn't try anything to make me uncomfortable... but what if he does? I don't really know him that well. I guess if it's awful I can walk home.

Class ends all too soon and I head towards my locker. I have some homework tonight so I switch out my notebooks for that and wait for Grayson. It's pretty awkward just standing here waiting for someone while not having a cell phone. I just have to stand here, twiddling my thumbs or some dumb shit like that.