Carter.

19.

With my hands on the wheel on my mother's car, I'm surprising even myself that I'm driving myself to Stanley's.

I never thought I would be driving myself into this awful place. It is honestly fucking with my head even more than normal. I weighted myself before I left and I was backdown to 88. So no worries, yesterday was just an anomaly. But I mean I avoided eating for a day and half and went on a long ass run this morning so that did the trick. I need to stay more focused though, I can't let my weight get out of control again.

I have about 20 minutes left on this drive but I'm not due at Stanley's for another 30. I didn't want to risk being late at all. This was the luckiest brake of my life and I won't get another one, that I'm sure of.

I went with a simple deep blue dress tonight, white heels and a blue smokey eye. It's revealing but that's literally the point. I don't care much what I wear anyway. Most the time it comes off anyway and mother is happier when I dress in less, I'm sure she gets paid more. I'm not a hundred percent sure how the pricing works but I know it is different every night, that's why my look and weight matter.

I park the car in mother's normal spot and turn it off. I've never walked in alone and I don't want to. It makes me feel like it's my choice then. I would never choose this for myself, ever.

I take a few deep breath and try to leave my mind. I can't think about anything when I'm here. I just have to get through it and it will be over. At this point not much can surprise me so it shouldn't be so bad.

Just as I'm about to get out of the car and fuck up what little sanity I have left my mother steps out of a car that just parked a few spots over from me.

I almost don't recognize her, the look on her face takes me back. She looks back into the dark black car while a smile on her face. She looks happy; carefree almost. Her outfit is almost normal, a clean grey t-shirt and black leggings. Leggings? On my mother! She still has her ratty old moccasins on but her hair is brushed and looks freshly washed. Where the fuck was she and how did they get her to shower?

I quickly scramble out of the car and nearly fall on my face as I see my mother lean back into the car again and kiss the man in the drivers seat on the mouth. She what?

I close the car door behind me and fumble to lock it as the man gets out of his car.

"Are you fucking stupid? Give me the keys." My mother seethes as she snatches the keys out of my hands. Well, her attitude is still there I see.

The man looks to be about 40 maybe 50 years old and has slicked back clearly dyed black hair. His eyes hold no emotion but the piercing black color takes me back. He's dressed in black slacks and a white dress shirt tucked in.

He rounds the car and gives me a slow once over that leaves my skin crawling.

"You're not sick anymore?" My mother questions forcing me to take my eyes off this mystery man.

"No, I feel much better." I answer simply while looking down. I can feel the man's eyes's on me.

"Good. Go inside." She snaps as she notices the man still clearly looking at my body. I would like to think she's mad because he's looking at her 16 year old daughter like that but I can read jealously all over her face. Thanks mother.

I force every step inside, every part of me regretting not taking the last 24 hours to pack the car and drive to anywhere but here with Emma. If only I had someone where to go...

The man walks inside with us which surprises me even more. Is he a customer here? If so, why was he with my mother all night?

I notice Hannah sitting on the old bench in the entry way. I've never seen anyone else in this room.