Carter.

46.

After a quick rundown of half the details to Emma, she's sobbing and Grayson is parked in his driveway.

It's 4:30 and I need to get home soon to get ready...

The question remains, how do I get Grayson to let me go?

"Both of y'all can stay at mine for the time being." Grayson speaks up after a good 10 minutes of Emma just sobbing in the backseat. How do you comfort someone when they are crying about the shit that's happened to you??

"Gray... I already told you. I'm going back home." I look up into his deep blue ocean eyes and immediately feel bad for making them get glossy.

"Carter. Please don't fight me on this anymore." He begs.

"It's not that simple. I need time. I have a plan." He raises an eyebrow at this.

"Oh?" He looks taken back.

"Yeah. I'm going to keep going to work until my mother leaves town again, which she will sometime this week. She always does. And then I'm going to search her room for my Aunt Dede's number and call her. She can take custody of Emma and I. Or I could get emancipated and she could just take Emma."

"Aunt Dede lives in Hawaii..." Emma mumbles through her finally silent tears.

"Hawaii would be a fun place to live." I offer unsure how she feels about it all.

"All my friends are here... I don't want to leave you." Emma wales. She starts to sob deeply again.

I turn toward Grayson. "What do you think?"

"I think calling your Aunt is a great idea. But you're not working anymore." He says "working" pointedly.

"This isn't the 1920's, you can't tell me whether or not I can work."

"Really Carter?" He rolls his eyes at me. It was worth a shot.

"Fuck Grayson. Just let me go. I was fine before you. Everything is spinning out of control now." I run my hands through my hair. It's nearly 5... I have to go now. "Grayson either drive me back home or I'll walk."

"You're serious?"

"Yes." I answer simply.

"There is no way in hell I'm driving you back there." I get out of the car before I can hear anymore. Nothing else he could say would change anything.

He gets out of the car as I make my way down his driveway.

"Carter please. I love you." His please only breaks my heart more. 

"I'm sorry." I mumble but I doubt he can hear me. He doesn't chase after me which I'm thankful for. This is fucking hard.

Family over everything, right Dad?

Maybe my mother is right? My life isn't worth the air I breath...

Grayson deserves the world. I can't give that to him. Maybe I should just have my mother sell my death now, if that's the end why wait? Grayson will take care of Emma, she'll be fine. I'll be with my dad...

I make it home in less than 10 minutes and don't waste anytime getting dressed and ready. I head downstairs a few minutes before 6 and wait for my mother in the living room.

I take a minute to look over the family pictures in here. Nothing has changed since my dad died. No new pictures added. We used to take family pictures twice a year. I can see the joy in all of our eyes. Now there is nothing behind my mother's eyes anymore and mine are nearly just as empty.

"Let's go. Tonight's a big night." My mother's chilling words startling me.

"What's happening tonight?" I gulp and follow her out the door.

"A big payday." She snarls. You don't think she means... no not yet.

I climb into her car and see Grayson's car speeding down the road towards my house. My mother doesn't spare a glance backwards before reversing out of the drive way. She speeds down the road before Grayson can reach my house.

Nothing but silence fills the car. I notice Grayson following my mother's car. Fucking shit, he's trying to find out where Stanley's is. He can't.

"I really need to pee." I blurt out. "Can you please stop somewhere really fast?" I don't see her hand until the sting hits my cheek.

"This isn't a road trip. Hold it." She growls.

"They don't let us pee there, I'm sorry. I forgot to go at home. I'll be so fast." I rush out before my nerves can stop me.

"You have 2 minutes. Any longer and I'll get someone to go and pick Emma up and bring her." She hisses while pulling into a Taco Bell.

"Okay." I say as I check the clock in the car and climb out. I see Grayson park at the other end of the parking lot and pull his hood up and walk up to Taco Bell. I can see Emma quickly hide in the backseat.

I quickly walk inside and head into the family bathroom, leaving it unlocked behind me. Grayson joins me in less than 10 seconds.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I rush out before he can even close the door behind him.

"I'm not letting you do this anymore." I have a feeling this will be the last night anyway...

"I love you." I cry before hugging him. He's stunned for a second but quickly recover and holds on to me.

I count to 20 in my head and know I have to go. I kiss him and try to pour all my feelings into it. I just want him to know. He kisses me back and I quickly get lost in the passionate emotional filled kiss.

I pull back.

"I love you Carter." He seems to have calm down.

"I love you more than anything." I gently push away from him and spin out the door. I noticed a mop by the door when I walked in. I quickly push the door shut and stick the mop in the handle to trap him in there. Just long enough to get my mother and I away from his following car.

"Carter?" He sounds so confused. But I don't have time I run out to the car.

"Get in." My mother growls.

I listen and she speeds back onto the road.

A tear rolls down my cheek, that felt like goodbye.

And I think my mother is going to make sure it was.