Carter.

23.

Halloween came and went so fast I barely even noticed. After my mother broke up with Richard, I've been working a lot more. It's been nearly every night. I'm not sure if she's punishing me or is just trying to find a new boo at this point.

I haven't seen Hannah or Richard again since that night. I mean it's only been like 3 weeks and I've been one of the top girls every time. I thought that Richard would come after me, but the bouncer that helped me that night told me that if we leave the room like that, that guy is banned from us. So I guess that's nice.

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and I'm scared. It was always my dad's favorite holiday, because as he said "food and family? What more could you want?" And so my mom has handled it two ways, last year she wasn't here but the year before that she spent the day yelling and sobbing and running all over the house like a demon. Emma and I locked ourselves in my room and she kept pounding on my room scream awful things about us.

I just hope she leave again, I honesty want her to find another boyfriend so she lays off work. I have bruises covering almost half my body but since I've been working so much Grayson hasn't found them yet.

The pain I feel from the bruises honestly bothers me more now that I'm with Grayson than they ever did before. It was like my life was shit, every part of it. School sucked because I didn't talk to anyone, Stanley's obviously sucked for very clear reasons, being at home was the worst though. I couldn't help but think about my dad and how he was missing. And my life was that, school, Stanley's, home repeat. Every once and while Em and I would watch a movie or have late night talks but honestly I was distancing myself from her so she didn't find out, and honestly it hurt to see her thriving under the same roof that was killing me. I had nothing but distracted joy from books or some stupid movie or show.

So the pain I felt from the bruises reminded me that I was alive. It sounds crazy and honestly it is, but I don't know, it kept me sane. I was so in my head all time about that pain but feeling it physically when I bent down or moved too fast was refreshing almost. Okay now I know I sound crazy. But maybe someone out there understands.

But now that I have Gray, everything has changed. And the bruises hurt like a bitch. I have much more in my life than just misery that I don't need a physical distraction. The only good thing about not being so numb is that I know where my bruises are so I can be extra careful to not show Grayson them.

At least I'm looking at the bright side, I would have never done that a few months ago. Especially considering I'm currently holding an ice pack to my cheek at 2 in the morning hoping the bruise and cut will be easy enough to cover tomorrow at school. The cut is probably an inch or two long and not super deep but hurts like a motherfucker. But this is happened before when an extra fucked up man (not really a man but a dick) punches me in the face with rings on, tonight was no exception.

The only problem is, people look at me now, talk to me daily so I'm bound to get questions. Plus tomorrow or I guess later today, is the last game day of football this season so it's spirit day. I've haven't dressed up for a spirit day since middle school but it's "Hilton Pride Day!". Which just means to wear school shirts and colors. Cheerleaders wear their uniforms, football players wear their jerseys and a super fun tradition of football player's girlfriends wearing their extra jerseys is a wonderful thing my school does.

Grayson is so excited to have me wear his jersey and in his fucking words "take cute as fuck pictures together!" How fucking cute are they going to be with my face like this?!?

I groan and lay back on my bed, my head board knocks the wall. I'm kind of starting to freak out, like he's going to freak out. But mainly everyone at school will be looking at me since I'm wearing a football jersey with MATTHEWS printed in bold on the back. If people weren't sure we were an item they will be now.