The Dragons' Crystal

Chapter Nine

I studied the still snow on the ground as my boot collided with it. It was still falling from the sky, making part of me feel jealous. No matter where it landed, it would be welcomed. I wasn't as fortunate. 

No matter how hard I fought with the voice in my head, I couldn't win. Again and again, it wanted to think more about Darius. Was I making the right choice? What if the strange occurrence of pain would only have happened last night? What if I had stayed? Darius had mentioned that it was possible to figure this situation out, but I hadn't let him talk. I had turned my back on his open hand. I had turned down one of the only friends I had. He had showed me kindness and I had completely turned away. I didn't deserve what he offered. 

I would force my mind away from the subject, raising my head against my own will. I hadn't a single clue where I was going, only that I was going away from Darius and away from Erstonia. I needed to find somewhere I belonged and where I wouldn't hurt anyone nor myself. I scanned the snowy horizon for any signs of civilization, but there was nothing. There hadn't been for hours. Behind me, there was snow. To my left and right, snow. Up above? Snow. In front of me? Snow. It surrounded me. The only change in the patterns was that behind me remained my footprints, showing only where I had been. I began to hope and pray that a village, or at least a person's home, was close by. My legs were starting to feel numb from the cold. Each step I had taken previously had caused feeling to jolt up to my hip. Now, I only could feel the heaviness that was my legs. My fingers were trembling, despite being wrapped in gloves, and I could feel the chills running down my spine and arms. My eyelashes had grown wet from melted snow and were now beginning to freeze and my nose felt as though ice crystals were growing inside with each breath I took. I fought the urge to rewet my lips, shivering whenever the urge took over and I found my lips freezing to the touch. 

My eyes were back on the ground again as I continued on forward. I couldn't see anything in the distance, making me wonder if I had taken a wrong turn. Was this leading me deeper into the middle of nowhere? It was too late to turn back around. I needed to keep on in this direction and pray instinct was enough. Mother had once told me when I was little that your mind could play tricks on you. Sometimes good, other times bad. One of them was to manage pain, or something you didn't enjoy. You had to convince your mind you were somewhere else and it would get easier. It wouldn't go away completely, but it would be easier. I briefly shut my eyes, remembering the last time I had felt warm. It had been last night, sitting in front of the bonfire with Dove. 

I remembered how the heat had felt against my face. It had sent bumps down my arms as it fought the cold air around me for a place on my skin. It had felt too hot against my face, but I wasn't about to turn the heat down for the snowy world around me. A fire this big felt rare. I could feel the life returning to me when I had sat in front of the fire. The cold had melted off of me. With that thought in mind, I tried to convince myself I was there again. I remembered how the heat had felt against my skin and how it appeared in contrast to the snow. It hadn't completely taken away the cold I felt now, but it did feel better than before. It was partially working. 

The only issue with last night was how it had ended. The more I thought of the fire, the more I thought of how Dove had pulled me off the wooden log and into the crowd of dancers. The first few seconds had been freezing as I was ripped away from the fire. I shook my head, trying to think back to the fire, but I was too far in. I remembered how Darius had effortlessly gotten into the middle of the dancers and had led me along. If it weren't for the fact that it made a wonderful distraction, I'd have tried harder to stop the thought process. 

The dazzling look in his dark eyes had taken me completely by surprise. Each spot he had touched on me had shivered beneath his hands. Each touch sparked a new emotion. It had never happened to me before, but I was foolish enough to press on.