together or not at all - an academy fan fiction

prologue.

". . . this all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy. . ."

- someone you loved, lewis capaldi

[. . . ♡ . . .]

The Toma apartment was silent. It wasn't the comfortable silence that they had all become accustomed to; this one was tense, suffocating. The rain fell in sheets outside, banging so hard against the windows that Sang was sure it was cracking them.

Or, maybe, that was just the sound of her heart breaking.

It was hard to face the reality that Sang and the Toma team weren't the kids they used to be. The boys still didn't accept it. But Sang. . . she knew. She'd know for a long time. Even before Kayli came into the picture, things started falling apart. There was nothing they or anyone else could do to stop it.

"Sang?" Corey's gentle voice drew Sang out of her thoughts. While she was thankful for it, reality wasn't a place she wanted to be at the moment. Cerulean eyes met emerald green, the normally sparkling irises devoid of all emotion. "What did you need to talk to us about?"

Just the simple act of looking into his eyes made memories hit her like a tsunami. Memories of the boy he used to be, of late night talks and shy kisses in their treehouse when they were too young to grasp the concept of love. She missed that, the pure, innocent friendship that they had. A friendship that, on her end at least, slowly graduated into love. She wanted it back more than anything.

Sadly, no matter how much you want it, some things just aren't possible.

She took a deep breath, preparing to say the words that would be the final nail to the coffin. It hurt-- oh god, did it ever hurt-- but she needed to. They all needed to.

"We can't. . . we can't keep going on like this. Something needs to change."

The boys shared looks, an infuriating habit they picked up along the years that Sang never seemed to be able to interpret.

Finally, after what felt like hours but had probably been a minute at most, Axel spoke up. "Sang, darlin', what do you mean?"

His voice, just like it had been since he hit puberty, was deep and smoky. He had the kind of voice that made you hang onto his every word. It was a hard thought to grasp, but she had to come to terms with the fact that if this goes the way she was expecting, she may never hear that voice again.

"I-I know you don't believe me, you never have, but--"

Brandon cut her off with a groan. His golden hair was messy, his eyes tired. "Damn it Sang, is this about Kayli again? We've told you a million times you j--"

"'Just don't know her like we do'?" She rolled her eyes, an uncharacteristic show of sass from the small blonde, one that had all of them raising their eyebrows. "Brandon, you don't understand. She's not the kind of girl you think she is."
Brandon shot to his feet, rage swimming in his eyes. It wasn't unusual for Sang and the boys to fight towards the end of their friendship, really it was surprising if they got through a whole day without fighting.

"Then make me understand Sang! I'm so sick and fucking tired of you talking shit about Kayli with no evidence to back it up!"

Sang flinched away from him, memories of her parents she always tried so hard to push down coming to the surface. Marc noticed, and he pulled Brandon back a few steps, a whispered "ease up on her, man," just reaching Sang's ears.

This time instead of fear building up in her from the sound of one of the boys yelling, anger took its place.

"I can't do it anymore!" Sang exploded, months and months of built up anger spilling over. "I refuse to stand by and let her attack me over and over while you five refuse to acknowledge the fact that she has some kind of grudge against me. I've put up with it for almost a year now and I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore."